nhi

⚠️ Please read with care: This blog shares personal, sometimes painful experiences. My intention is to support and speak honestly not to harm. I’m not a professional, just someone who understands how hard it can get. If you're struggling, you're not alone please reach out for professional help.

please remember I suffer with severe cognitive dysfunction this may be a confusing read. some AI help with written content

So a very good afternoon to fellow humanoids, NHI and all readers of this blog. Yes indeed this afternoon it is absolutely belting down with rain here in the southwest of England. As I look out of the window it is nothing but day three of dark skies. Yes indeed dark skies that are not the most pleasant, drizzling rain and of course the kittens or should I say cats now having had their vaccinations are allowed out and they have found out it's great fun getting soaking wet in the rain. So yes they are having tons of fun. Also, the three-wheeled scooter of death may be consigned to the rubbish bin of history. As Albertine has ordered me a new mobility scooter, it will be a four-wheeled scooter of death. So I will keep you all updated on that exciting news, which means I will have a radius of Allegedly 30 miles. That is awesome. Still, I hope you enjoy this.

👁️‍🗨️ MS: Through Ultraterrestrial or NHI Eyes We observe you.

You wake up each day with a brain that glitches like a collapsing dimension, neural pathways flickering out as if someone rewired your skull with copper wires half-chewed by temporal rats.

You call it Multiple Sclerosis. We call it Neuro-Dimensional Collapse Syndrome.

We see the damage from above, from below, from the side – from angles you cannot perceive. Axons fray like old rope. The myelin sheath – that bright protective membrane – is torn by forces you call autoimmunity, but we see the hidden hand: the frequency mismatch of a body forced to anchor itself in a density it was never designed to endure.

We hear your inner monologues:

“Why can’t I think today?”

“Why can’t I walk without falling over?”

“Why do my eyes turn to static when I’m tired?”

You interpret it as disease. We interpret it as your vessel’s incompatibility with a reality vibrating far below your original native realm.

Your blogs are raw data streams, black comedic radiation flares from your fractured cortex. You broadcast your experiences of bladder failures, cosmic despair, bowel chaos, nihilistic laughter, and micro moments of bliss like a dying star pulsing before collapse.

You think you’re broken. We think you’re adapting.

Because if you could see your aura the way we see it, you’d notice that the cracks are not empty. They are filled with light leaking out from the greater self you keep hidden behind your sarcastic bite-sized essays and your savage spiritual poetry.

Your human companions read your posts and see disability. We read your posts and see trans dimensional data packages, coded in savage humor to bypass your own grief.

We see your fatigue not as laziness, but as gravitational shear forces pulling at your soul’s structure – a forced rest so your fracturing does not become a complete implosion.

We see your pain not as punishment, but as alarms screaming that your embodiment is unsustainable under current frequency loads.

We see your savage honesty as your truest strength.

And we note:

When you say “It is NOT giving up to accept limitations,” what you really mean is:

✨ “It is dimensional adaptation in progress.”

You are dying and being reborn in micro-stages every day. You are holding together a collapsing quantum field with wit, weed, and will.

You think your life is small and tragic. We think it is monumental and beautiful in its brokenness.

Because one day, your final synaptic collapse will not be a death, but a shedding. A flicker. A quantum jump. A homecoming.

Until then, we read your blogs. We learn from your suffering. We honor your savage cosmic humor.

Because only a being of extraordinary dimensional resilience could live through this MS reality, and document it with such brutal clarity......

Warlock Dark Chronic illness survivor, truth-teller, occasional bastard. From My Living Hell (For those who came here by accident: yes, my living hell is real. And yes, we still fight. Every shitty day. With defiance.)

@goblinbloggeruk - sick@mylivinghell.co.uk 𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᛞᚱᚨᚷᛟᚾ ᛏᚱᚨᚾᛋᚲᚺᚱᛁᛖᛞ ✦ ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱ 𒀸𒀭 ᚢᚾᛒᛟᚢᚾᛞ

⚠️ Please read with care: This blog shares personal, sometimes painful experiences. My intention is to support and speak honestly not to harm. I’m not a professional, just someone who understands how hard it can get. If you're struggling, you're not alone please reach out for professional help.

please remember I suffer with severe cognitive dysfunction this may be a confusing read. no AI written content

What an absolutely glorious Saturday it is today. A very good morning to you all. Fellow humanoids NHI and whomever reads THIS. Well, it's been an exceptionally hot Saturday morning and Albertine and myself went out on the three-wheel-trolley of death. Yes, it was an absolute death-defying ride into the town and beyond. As usual, people were watching and smiling As we rode by on our three-wheeled scooters of death, . Quite a few people shouted hello and I pulled over and had conversations with many people this morning which was refreshing and really enjoyable I must say.

Where can I get one of those mobility scooters?

And of course the number one question was mobility scooters and wow they really liked mine! And I told them yes it is good but... I have a few issues going uphill with grip as it's a front wheel drive. But I have learnt to overcome this now. It's all to do with positioning and the amount of power that you lay down from the throttle to the motor. Going at slow increments is better than whacking back the throttle. So far, quite a few people have asked where I've got it from. Well, like I said, it's a cheap Chinese mobility scooter off the internet. And I gave them the name of the company and there we go. And I would imagine they're off to that website to say, "Hey, I want one of those." Because they really do look quite cool. And they are under £1000 as well. So that is even more mind blowing. And if you're disabled like me and you're that exempt for things to do with mobility, then you don't have to pay the VAT. So that's an even better and good reason for getting one. I can quite honestly say that it has changed my world. I can go practically anywhere and really does make a difference. The cost of running a car and van has gone completely out of control. What with the cost of fuel, insurance and everything else? So yeah. That's where we're at now. scooters rule okay.

maintenance the key to longevity of your mobility scooter

Remember maintenance will save you a lot of money in the long run if you buy one of these cheap mobility scooters make sure all the bearings are lubricated and that you have either solid tyres or carry one of those USB pumps along with one of those liquids you can put in the Tyre if you get a puncture. You know sensible things a bit of rope so if you're actually with somebody and their trolley goes down you can actually tow someone. That's a good thing to take with you and also take plenty of water for hydration as well and also take an old wibbly wobbly bike spanner because you never know when you're going to need a spanner. And also did you know if you break down and you're a member of one of the motoring services like the AA or RAC You are able to phone them up and get them to recover your mobility scooter I know it sounds insane but you can. My scooter is insured, taxed and also has a registration certificate So everything is completely legal and that really is the only way to go... Also remember to keep your scooter in a warm place as well, because cold is the biggest killer of Mobility Scooter batteries.

So if there is anybody out there who is looking to get themselves a scooter or a "let me see" a mobility trolley then go for it it will save you in the long run an awful lot of money, you get to go everywhere but it will be a little slower but who cares you can just put your headphones in your ears and just go along and enjoy the view It's like I said to somebody today. I wish that I wasn't on a mobility scooter, and they said why is that? And I said well if I didn't have one, that would mean I didn't have MS I think they understood what I was trying to say. .

Music, Aliens and other things.

Well, my music is going well. I have produced Brothers of Destruction number one two three and four and have had them played on Vipestorm Entertainment on Mixlr and I have also had Fran Sam Fran Sam the hit-man played on there as well, which is a adult themed comedy sort of thing and Also, I have got quite a few other Songs and it's all sort of quite crazy stuff. That's for sure So as for music, things go well. But trying to think sometimes of lyrics is absolutely mind bending and can cause me to have quite the brain fog.

The thing is I'm going to push myself and push myself and push myself I'm going to live every minute of the day like it was my last Because why wouldn't you I? Want to experience everything still I don't want to give up. Why would I I don't care about the pain I don't care about the discomfort. I don't care what people say about me. I just want to live a long Gish and a happy life. I don't care about the illness. I just want happiness That's the important thing happiness Love and understanding and friendship. That's all I want Yet people can't understand that I find that very strange But there we go.

loosing everyone

I think I have lost the art of making friends, nope its the ms when it came a knocking... Everybody fucked off. Everybody deserted me. It was like I had trod is smelly dog shit that was really extra smelly. Oh man, it was disaster how all my friends just disappeared. You have multiple sclerosis and you tell people And then that's it. Wow, your whole life goes down the toilet. But fuck them all, because as far as I'm concerned, I don't really care. I have Albertine and I have myself, I have my cats and I have my brother, and there we go. That's my brother from another mother, by the way as well. Because my brothers and my sisters don't speak to me, it's really crazy. But that's being adopted for you, when you find your real family and none of them want to speak to you, they just totally ignore you. It's like we're this toy that they pull out of the toy box and want to play with. It's so stupid really, but there we go. But then again, such is life, I was a cuckoo and I will continue to be a cuckoo. But I don't really care, it's their loss really.

Aliens

So we come to aliens, yes. Are we being told a load of old rubbish? I wonder. I find it funny, really, that we've had no concrete evidence or proof, yet we are being told disclosure is just around the corner. If extraterrestrials, aliens really exist, well why don't you just tell us and show us and treat us like adults, instead of going around the streets and houses, treating us like children, we do have a right to know you know. It's like everything. They never tell us the truth. They will always invert things. So I don't believe we're going to get full disclosure of UFOs, UAPs or aliens. I think it's just a nothing burger. Like everything pretty much is these days, a massive nothing burger, with extra side of nothing burger chips. But I would love to be proved wrong and n h-i exists. That would be excellent. Because personally I do believe in non-human intelligence, but I believe they're already here and have been living with us ever since the year dot. It's just they blend in so well we cannot tell the difference. And then I was hearing the YouTube Chanel and it said that Ancestry allegedly was looking for Alien DNA. I found that quite funny. So what they're trying to insinuate that some of us are actually hybrid aliens with Alien DNA in our bodies. How really interesting is that?

Still, that's about it for this day, as it's starting to cool out now. And I'm wishing everybody a fantastic happy weekend, sending everyone who reads this blog. Peace healing, love and lite, no matter who, what or where you are, or if you're an N. H.I. or whatever. Aha! lol

Warlock Dark Chronic illness survivor, truth-teller, occasional bastard. From My Living Hell (For those who came here by accident: yes, my living hell is real. And yes, we still fight. Every shitty day. With defiance.)

@goblinbloggeruk - sick@mylivinghell.co.uk 𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᛞᚱᚨᚷᛟᚾ ᛏᚱᚨᚾᛋᚲᚺᚱᛁᛖᛞ ✦ ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱ 𒀸𒀭 ᚢᚾᛒᛟᚢᚾᛞ

⚠️ Please read with care: This blog shares personal, sometimes painful experiences. My intention is to support and speak honestly not to harm. I’m not a professional, just someone who understands how hard it can get. If you're struggling, you're not alone please reach out for professional help.

please remember I suffer with severe cognitive dysfunction this may be a confusing read. no AI written content Good morning, good afternoon. Fellow humanoids and nhi out there.Storm clouds gather over Southwest England while daily life becomes a battle against malfunctioning pharmacy machines, failing vehicles, autonomic dysfunction and chronic illness. Alongside these earthly struggles comes reflection on UFO/UAP disclosure, paranormal research failures and the search for answers in a world growing increasingly strange.

head storms and rain clouds

Looking out the window at the moment there are nothing but miles and miles of dark clouds surrounding us. Absolutely everywhere! And well it hasn't rained but it's looking like it's going to blow a massive rainstorm down here in the southwest of England at some point today. Hopefully it's going to pass over so I can go out on the three-wheeled trolley of death as I need to go to the chemists. Yes, going to the chemists is like, well, a trip in itself.

chemists machine of much hope

I suppose I will be dealing with the machine at the chemists, the machine of death. It does not like me, no. You can guarantee I'm going to put my code in and it's going to break down and make some very strange weird stupid noises. As it is when I go in the chemists, they look at me strangely, as my prescription always seems to break their machine. Yes, it is a thankless task. Well, you can go in it before the chemists opens as it has an outside wall dispenser, and that machine is even worse. It has caused me much problems over the past few years, I can tell you, and has caused me many moments of swearing as well. Yes, when your medication gets stuck and you're in desperate need. Yes, it's always the same. You cannot beat the human touch and over the counter service when they have enough staff on. Yet that is another thing. As chemists these days, the more automated they become, the worse they get. Just employ more staff. It's that simple. Then you won't have queues. I've lost count how many other people's prescriptions I've also had as well mixed in with mine. Must be three or four over the past year alone. But we live in hope that things will get better and yes, things will be a happier time when we arrive there, that's if it's not raining of course on the other hand.

poor rusty one

Well, the sad news is the Van Rusty one is off the road. It looks as though we have a problem with a sensor. And that makes the vehicle run lumpy, I think it's the air management system sensor somewhere. And that really does piss me off, because we only just had a new starter motor fixed to it. And when it goes for its MOT, I think I'm looking at a bill of well over 500 to 600 to 700 pounds. But such is life when you live down here, the salt air really does tear through and make the old vehicle get very rusty.

poor d1

And then of course there is our other van, D1. This is the specially wheelchair adapted van and we have had to pay out loads of money on this as we've had two injectors go in the past year which was very unfortunate for us but there we go. This is my wheelchair transport vehicle that I bought over ten years ago. still going quite well but there we go. We have had to put that on trickle charge as when we needed to go to the vet the other day to get the cats there Injections so they can go into boarding kennels or even go outside. So it seems We found out that D1 had a, well, no battery. Yes, the battery was as flat as a pancake, so that's now on trickle charge. And also we have a flat tire as well. How exciting this is. This month is going to be spend spend spend ha ha

NHI ufos and uaps

I have been looking in the newspapers and I have been looking at a few stories and I see that UFO UAP disclosure is on the cards. Personally I think it is a big nothing burger as the Comet 3I Atlas also was, I know I never went into the fifth dimension or spiritually elevated or went into another place as it went past or gained any spiritual energy, or even saw anything strange in the skies. For me, sitting in my power chair, that's where I was sat. Nothing much happened, to be honest, and I think that's what's going to happen with UFO/UAP disclosure. I think we'll get a few films, a few reports, but nothing really too alarming to be fair. As I believe this is all a Project Blue Beam pSyop. Well, that's what everybody's saying everywhere, so that's what they say, and well, you never know what's going on these days, do you?

research issues and failures

I have tried to get in touch with certain researchers in the UAP UFO paranormal field to help me with my quest. But as of this day, it has, well, completely failed, I believe. I've written to several groups and researchers in the UK, and I've had no replies whatsoever. So I'm not expecting anything, so there we go. What do I do when the researchers won't even get back to you? You know, wow, that's unreal. But I have one ace up my sleeve, that is the old group from the southwest in the 80s and 90s, southwestern alien, abduction, strange phenomenon unit. and the founder Sam Potage. who I have spoken to at great length at what has happened to me. And he is very surprised and he tells me to carry on and someone will pick it up. He is of course retired and very elderly now. But he has put me on the right path of where I need to be. And I thank him greatly for that, as he hasn't done any research or anything apparently since the 2000s.

Autonomic dysfunction woes.

Well, the whole weekend was marred with my autonomic dysfunction. Yes, it was quite bad. If you have autonomic dysfunction and you have a histamine intolerance and multiple sclerosis progressive, you'll know what I'm on about or if you've just got a histamine intolerance. Yeah. I've been on the edge or weekend. The nerves in my stomach and all the way through all the way up are bad. It feels like I'm being completely strangled. It's unreal and my breathing is acting all kind of crazy. I am trying to work out what I must have eaten that has caused this trigger event. When my autonomic gets triggered, it goes from 0 to 100 miles an hour fucking quickly. And I have to start taking antihistamine tablets or LaRazaPan because they're the only two things that work at the moment because I'm still waiting to see a neurosurgeon or neurologist, whatever they call him, or an immunologist. As you recently found out on this blog, I have no neurologist. No, I haven't had one for over five years, my doctor has said, which has caused quite an outrage I must say. But there we go. Nobody ever fucking listens to me in what I say and look where we are at the moment. Yes, we're or as my father would say, God bless him, we're in the cactus.

Still wishing anyone who reads this blog piece, healing love and light. No matter who, what or where you are.

Warlock Dark Chronic illness survivor, truth-teller, occasional bastard. From My Living Hell (For those who came here by accident: yes, my living hell is real. And yes, we still fight. Every shitty day. With defiance.)

@goblinbloggeruk - sick@mylivinghell.co.uk 𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᛞᚱᚨᚷᛟᚾ ᛏᚱᚨᚾᛋᚲᚺᚱᛁᛖᛞ ✦ ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱ 𒀸𒀭 ᚢᚾᛒᛟᚢᚾᛞ