mobility scooters

⚠️ This blog shares my personal, sometimes painful experiences with MS and mental health. My intention is to speak honestly and offer solidarity—not to harm or replace professional advice. I’m not a doctor or therapist, just someone who gets how hard it can get. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend, support group, or professional. You deserve help and hope.⚠️

please remember I suffer with severe cognitive dysfunction, and use AI to proof read and help solve this issue so you can understand it

A very good afternoon to you, whoever you are, wherever you’re from—whether it’s Mars, ancient Tartaria, or just your local pub. I hope your weekend is less chaotic than mine.

The Finger That Came Back (And Other Small Miracles)

Albertine’s finger, which was dramatically removed and then just as dramatically returned by the NHS, is now looking remarkably good like it never left at all. A true medical miracle! We’re down one person in the household due to this ordeal, meaning I’m now single-handedly responsible for keeping everything from collapsing into chaos a task that requires both Herculean effort and a healthy dose of dark humour.

The 4-Wheel Scooter of Death (Still in the Garage, Thankfully)

My new mobility scooter dubbed the 4-wheel scooter of death remains safely locked away in the garage. I refuse to unleash it upon the world after its near-fatal roundabout incident.

Accelerates like a runaway train Cuts out at crucial moments (like, say, when you’re about to get hit by a bus) Jerked me home with no power, leaving me questioning my life choices I’ve sent at least three emails (possibly five) to the company that sold it to me, and not a single response. This suggests either:

They’re aware of the design flaws but don’t care. My emails are being filtered out as spam (which, given their quality, is entirely plausible). They’ve already written my obituary. Either way, I’m now forced to use the 3-wheel trolley of death—a device that last year attempted to throw me under a bus. Cheap scooters: not fit for purpose.

The UK’s Mobility Scooter Problem (Or: Why Can’t We Have Electric Cars That Actually Work?)

I remember the old blue mobility cars reliable, sturdy, and built to last. Now? We get these flimsy, half-baked electric scooters that are basically death traps.

Why can’t we have small, fast, reliable electric vehicles? They exist in China! Why not here?

The government is pushing us toward electric everything except for the things disabled people actually need. Where’s my 30-40 mph electric car? I don’t care if it runs on petrol, diesel, or even bullshit—just give me something that doesn’t try to kill me.

The Electrical Storm in My Brain (Or: Why I Look Like a Mad Scientist)

I was supposed to go to the market today, but I’m not feeling well. Brain fog, stress, and that weird electrical storm sensation the kind of feeling you can’t describe unless you’ve experienced it yourself.

Looking in the mirror at 67, with my hair falling out faster than a bald eagle in a hurricane, I find it amusing (in a deeply cynical way). Life’s choices, eh?

A New Project: The MS Podcast (Or: Why We Need More Dark Humour)

I’ve been asked to help with a podcast about multiple sclerosis a place where people can ask questions and hear from those of us living this neurological adventure first-hand. Dark humour is the only thing keeping me going.

My brain feels like a bowl of mush being stirred by a spoon, and my mental faculties are… questionable. But hey, at least I have something to write about.

What Would an Borg Think of This?)

An Borg, observing this post, might conclude:

"Subject exhibits signs of neurological dysfunction coupled with an apparent fascination for mobility devices that actively attempt to injure them. Recommendation: Observe from a safe distance." "Human humour is inefficient but effective. Sarcasm detected at 98%. Probability of dark comedy success: 100%."

Final Thoughts (Or: Why I’m Still Here)

I send all readers whether you’re human, interdimensional, or from ancient Tataria peace, healing, love, and light (even if it’s refracted through layers of sarcasm).

If you are from another dimension, drop me a line. A neurologically challenged man like myself would love to hear your perspective.

Warlock Dark Chronic illness survivor, truth-teller, occasional bastard. From My Living Hell (For those who came here by accident: yes, my living hell is real. And yes, we still fight. Every shitty day. With defiance.)
☣ This Is Not A Blog About MS This Is My Life With MS ☣

twitter@goblinbloggeruk - sick@mylivinghell.co.uk

⚠️ This blog shares my personal, sometimes painful experiences with MS and mental health. My intention is to speak honestly and offer solidarity—not to harm or replace professional advice. I’m not a doctor or therapist, just someone who gets how hard it can get. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend, support group, or professional. You deserve help and hope.⚠️

please remember I suffer with severe cognitive dysfunction this may be a confusing read. some AI help written content

A brutally honest Saturday ramble about mobility scooters, MS, healthcare, tattoos, MOTs, Linux, heat, disability and the strange behaviour of people who have apparently never seen a wheelchair before.

🌅 Morning (Or Afternoon? Who the Hell Knows) Musings

Ah, Saturday. Or is it Sunday? Does it even matter when every day is a glorious battle against gravity, stupidity, and the DVLA? This morning, I took my three-wheeled trolley of impending doom (also known as my mobility scooter) out for a spin. Steep hills? Oh, absolutely. Because nothing says "I’m alive" like inching up a slope at the speed of a snail on sedatives, while motorists behind you silently question their life choices. And yes, I do pull over to let them pass—because even I have mercy. Mostly. But here’s the kicker: The front headset is coming loose again. Tighten it? It loosens. Ignore it? It definitely loosens. So now it’s off the road for repairs, because nothing says "I’m a responsible adult" like a wobbly death machine.

🏥 The NHS: A Comedy of Errors (But Not the Funny Kind)

I almost got to speak to my neurologist this week. Almost. Instead, I got the MS nurse, which is like ordering a steak and getting a napkin. Still, progress! Slow, painful, bureaucratic progress. Meanwhile, my new mobility scooter is sitting pretty—illegally—because the DVLA has decided that three weeks is a reasonable time to process a registration. Three. Weeks. At this rate, I’ll be dead before the paperwork clears. But hey, at least I’ve got a tattoo appointment next Friday! Because nothing says "I’m numb from MS" like voluntarily stabbing myself with needles. Let’s hope the area doesn’t turn hypersensitive, because that’s a special kind of hell I’ve visited before.

🚗 Rusty 1: The Camper Van That Refuses to Die

Rusty 1 (my trusty Vivaro) passed its MOT—after new brake discs and pads, because of course it did. Now it’s legal for another year, which is more than I can say for my patience with the DVLA. PSA: If anyone wants to buy a 2005 Vivaro camper van for £5,000 or nearest offer, hit me up. It’s in decent nick, just needs a few minor things (read: it’s fine, stop worrying).

🔥 The Sun: My Personal Nemesis

This week, my house hit 30°C. THIRTY. DEGREES. For those of you who don’t speak "British Summer", that’s basically the surface of the sun. Windows open, fans blasting, and me—melting like a witch in Oz. And the antihistamines? I’m basically mainlining them at this point. Histamines are the real villains of my life, turning my body into a betrayal-themed piñata.

💻 Tech Wars: Linux vs. Windows (Spoiler: I Win)

After a year of blood, sweat, and brain fog, I’ve finally tamed my mini PCs.

Geekcom Mini PC: Swapped Windows 11 for Zorin Linux—flies like a dream. (10/10, would recommend, Bluetooth is a lie.) HX90: Switched back to Windows 10 because some programs are stubborn bastards that refuse to play nice with Linux. Now I have the best of both worlds—peak performance until it isn’t. AI helps me write because my MS brain jumps from topic to topic like a caffeinated squirrel.

🚪 No Cold Callers: The Magic Sign

Pro tip for the disabled: Slap a "NO COLD CALLERS" sign on your door. Works like a charm. Jehovah’s Witnesses? Gone. Random salespeople? Vanished. My appearance helps too—67, long hair, ZZ Top beard, wheelchair. Most people take one look and bolt. The ones who do approach? I tell them my condition is catching. Watch them sprint away in terror. 10/10, would gaslight again.

🧠 Cognitive Dysfunction: The Uninvited Guest

My brain’s been extra chaotic lately. MS means my thoughts are like a browser with 50 tabs open—all crashing. Writing? Forget it. Spelling? A joke. But AI helps, because even my pride has limits. And yes, doctors are using AI to triage patients. Finally, a system that won’t judge me for forgetting my own name.

💉 Final Thoughts: Hydrate or Diedrate

Stay hydrated. Gut health is king. And if you see me on my scooter, don’t stare,unless you want me to laugh in your face. Peace, healing, love, and light to all who read this. Have a most excellent weekend or don’t, I’m not your mum. Remember: If life gives you MS, make dark humour and questionable life choices.

Warlock Dark Chronic illness survivor, truth-teller, occasional bastard. From My Living Hell (For those who came here by accident: yes, my living hell is real. And yes, we still fight. Every shitty day. With defiance.)

@goblinbloggeruk - sick@mylivinghell.co.uk 𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᛞᚱᚨᚷᛟᚾ ᛏᚱᚨᚾᛋᚲᚺᚱᛁᛖᛞ ✦ ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱ 𒀸𒀭 ᚢᚾᛒᛟᚢᚾᛞ

⚠️ Please read with care: This blog shares personal, sometimes painful experiences. My intention is to support and speak honestly not to harm. I’m not a professional, just someone who understands how hard it can get. If you're struggling, you're not alone please reach out for professional help.

please remember I suffer with severe cognitive dysfunction this may be a confusing read. no AI written content

A Very Good morning, good afternoon, fellow humanoids and eti , where ever you may be, Well, it's a very wet day here in the southwest. We've been experiencing rainstorms most of the night and throughout this morning, unfortunately. And it is getting rather cold here as well. As I look out the window, all I can see is a grey nothingness of sky, full of rain and well grey yuck. Oh dear me, and today It promised to be a sunny warm day and afternoon. I suppose that tomorrow and the next day will be pretty much the same. Well, this is the sort of weather we get these days isn't it? It is quite amazing. Rain, rain and more rain and even more fog.

What happened to the weather?

Yes, it's depressing looking out of the window these days because well everything is so dull and drab there is no color to look at so to speak. The sky seems washed out all the time and then we have all these weird clouds It's quite strange really. Of course I can remember the 1960s to 1970s and the skies were lovely and blue. The sun was yellow and warm. We never had any of this horrible weather we have now. I remember going to school and it would rain and it would be a warm rain. It rained for a few minutes. It's gone. Yes, the weather has definitely changed. Well, I suppose it's getting colder. I say it's getting warmer but to me having MS it's like getting colder and hotter at the same time. I know it sounds a bit weird but when you have MS it can cause all sorts of issues. The heat and the cold. There is no such thing as a good temperate climate I'm afraid. Well, not in the UK anyway but I hear Portugal is supposed to be quite good.

No market, the weather is atrocious.

So I have been looking forward to this all week and yes, the market that we only get once a month Well, I'm not gonna be able to get there. What with the weather? It is too cold It is too wet and there are some quite mega puddles about I know it's only a couple of miles to the market But the thing is my three-wheel trolley of death does not like the wet weather and I fear that the brakes might not be very good in this wet weather either and Yeah, I don't want to be having an accident that would never do So it's in the garage and that's where it's going to stay till tomorrow when I'm going to try and go out for a few hours somewhere with Albertine and then hope it's fairly dry because the cold and the wet, well, these mobility scooters don't like the cold. No, they don't. It affects their performance quite drastically. It's... Battery does not last very long in the cold. It can drain overnight if you leave your battery outside. Yes, it can. And I have lost two sets of batteries over the past few years, and it's cost me nearly 400 quid each time, I think. And that's not good. But there we go. We learn. And when we learn at our own costs sometimes...

Maintenance of mobility scooters

The most important thing to remember whatever mobility scooter you have is to keep it regularly maintained. I found the most important thing is squirting lube on the bearings on the wheels. Because believe it or not those bearings do need lubrication and all you have to do is remove one nut on mine and you can see the bearing and just squirting in some silicon grease does the business. It makes that ball race go round like a dream. and also generally keeping an eye on the tightness of all your bolts as well as what I have found on my three-wheeled scooter of death literally after going out and coming back there are several nuts that decide to come loose, I have now got some lock nut solution on those to stop them coming undone but the quality of some of these nuts and bolts ....I've never seen such rubbishy nuts and bolts to be honest with you ...

The next mobility scooter that I'm getting

The next mobility scooter that I'm getting will be a four-wheeled mobility scooter and it will have solid tyres. Yes, punctures are a hazard on a mobility scooter if you're on the road or pavement as there are all sorts of horrible little things that can quite easily puncture your tyres. At the moment I have to carry a Tyre pump and a solution to putting the inner tube in case I have a puncture. Yes, being caught out in the middle of nowhere with a puncture is no fun as I have found out to my cost when I had to bring my three-wheeled scooter of death home on two wheels. That indeed was precarious. Also, I'm going to make sure it's a scooter that has a removable battery so I can put the scooter in the garage and charge the battery separately. And keep the battery out of the cold and also have a spare battery is also a good thing.

Also on the three-wheeled trolley of death or scooter of death or whatever we call it, there is a big big big problem and that is if you go too far, you're not coming home. Yes, the problem is here that the distance that it says in the book isn't the distance that you actually get when you're actually out on it. So, yeah, the mileage is a bit iffy to say the least because it's got to do with weather conditions. And as we know, weather conditions in the UK are pretty crappy, so it's going to be pretty crappy battery performance on a cold day. So yeah, the new scooter that I am hopefully getting does about 30 miles and I'll carry a spare battery so that'll give me maybe what 60 miles but who the hell wants to do 60 miles on the mobility scooter in a day? Well could you actually do that? Just imagine the traffic hold-ups and the abuse that you would suffer. It'd be quite comical really. It'd be a bit like having a tractor going slow with big bales on the back and yeah you get the picture.

UFO UAP disclosure and other things.

So they say aliens walk amongst us. I find that quite exciting if it's true. But what happens if we're the aliens? Has anybody ever thought of that? I know, that's a bit weird, isn't it? So I hear no one ask out there, well how's your autonomic dysfunction going? Well, how is it going? I'm managing to keep it down to a bearable level. using the AI to help me with what I can and cannot eat, and we went through a list of foods that can set off histamine reactions in my body, and also foods with histamines in that can cause a reaction. I was surprised to find that even some foods with no histamines in can cause a histamine reaction in the body and can cause the body to make histamine. I was surprised but I have done what the AI has told me to do.

Shh don't tell the nhs lol

Now, the thing is, let's keep this quiet lol . I used a medical AI. And to be honest with you, it's better than any doctor I have ever seen. And it helped me so much. It was unfucking believable. So if you're like me and you're really suffering and you are desperate for help and there is none coming from the NHS, what I suggest is try a medical AI. And it helped me, it put my mind at rest. And my autonomic dysfunction now is at bearable levels. I really have had my eyes opened that speaking to an AI about my MS and autonomic dysfunction has been more fruitful than ever talking to doctors, nurses, MS, nurses, or neurologists, or any healthcare professionals, to be honest with you. The thing is the AI listens and listens and listens and listens. It doesn't ignore you, it doesn't gaslight you, it doesn't treat you like a fucking idiot. That's the difference. AI treats you more like a human than the doctor or the neurologist does. You go see the neurologist or the doctor, it's a pat on the head. Good boy, good girl. Now fuck off. Go away. I'm not going to speak to you for weeks to tell you what's wrong with you. But I already know. You know, these people act like God. Well they're not gods. I've proved that because I've had AI help me and I trust AI over the triage I've ever had anywhere else.

But that's my own personnel opinion always seek help from a healthcare professional if your not me

So yes, I have used modern day tools to help me. But enough of all that, that was a bit of a rant I'm afraid. Well, I've been waiting for ten years to get this autonomic dysfunction sorted out, and well, you know, I'm nearly there, but I don't think I am.

Stress levels. It was due to a double glazing salesman would you believe?

This week has been one of the worst weeks for a long time for my stress levels. I suppose this is one of the first times I've ever talked about my stress levels. Well, I find that people can stress me out and when I get too stressed out, I tend to react. And yes, yesterday I had to leave the room due to getting so stressed out. It was unreal. It was due to a double glazing salesman would you believe? He was trying the hard sell and to be honest I could see he was trying to push bully maneuver you know the sort of thing your wheelchair use you're also a pensioner and yeah you know the real hard sell big boy pressure stuff So after about 10, 15 minutes of his bullshit, I decided that I was going to go.

But he kept on and on and on and my fuse was getting shorter and shorter and shorter and I was getting really wound up. You know what it's like and I just had, I just said, I'm not feeling too good and I had to leave the room and an Albertine deal with it because the guy had me really stressed and yeah, I was feeling so angry, it was unbelievable. I wanted to deck the bloke, I know, that's a really bad thing and it's a really bad place to be in. But when you're under pressure and somebody knows that you're ill and they're pressuring you, it's a nasty thing to do, isn't it? So I had to suffer massive stress. Yeah, well, if a certain person had been there, that wouldn't have happened. And well, there we go. So yes, when you are disabled and you are in a wheelchair, you can be at the mercy of people. And I don't find that very, very nice. Yes. So it really is a fucked up world.

Sometimes I think what's the point? To all of this bullshit that I have to go through every day. or the stress I have to go through every day, or the pain I have to go through every day, or the headfucks I have to go through every day, the brain fog, constant spasms, the constant, the constant horrible feelings I have to go through in my head and my body. If you go through this, do you truly understand what it's like to have pins and needles in your body? Lightning bolts going up and down your spine, going down your legs. Your tongue is half eaten away because when you try to eat food, your tongue's so numb, you chew your tongue off. When your tongue starts spasming, that is the freakiest fucking thing of all, and that really, really freaks me out. It's just awful. And the thing is it plays hell with your mental health as well. And really, really, really is debilitating and people just do not realize. In fact, I believe a lot of people don't give a fuck about me or care.

To be honest, I feel like I've been pushed in a corner by everybody and just left a fucking Rot. Yeah, that's the way it feels, but there we go. Life is generally very strange, but when you have a chronic illness, or you're me, life can get very strange. Yes, so fellow humanoids and maybe aliens out there who are reading this blog, I wish you a most pleasant happy weekend. And if I have said anything that has upset anybody, I am truly sorry. And yes, everybody have a good one because I need to at some point have a good time. But the hell I'm going through, fuck knows when it's going to happen.

Warlock Dark Chronic illness survivor, truth-teller, occasional bastard. From My Living Hell (For those who came here by accident: yes, my living hell is real. And yes, we still fight. Every shitty day. With defiance.)

@goblinbloggeruk - sick@mylivinghell.co.uk 𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᛞᚱᚨᚷᛟᚾ ᛏᚱᚨᚾᛋᚲᚺᚱᛁᛖᛞ ✦ ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱ 𒀸𒀭 ᚢᚾᛒᛟᚢᚾᛞ