medical AI

⚠️ Please read with care: This blog shares personal, sometimes painful experiences. My intention is to support and speak honestly not to harm. I’m not a professional, just someone who understands how hard it can get. If you're struggling, you're not alone please reach out for professional help.

please remember I suffer with severe cognitive dysfunction this may be a confusing read. no AI written content

A Very Good morning, good afternoon, fellow humanoids and eti , where ever you may be, Well, it's a very wet day here in the southwest. We've been experiencing rainstorms most of the night and throughout this morning, unfortunately. And it is getting rather cold here as well. As I look out the window, all I can see is a grey nothingness of sky, full of rain and well grey yuck. Oh dear me, and today It promised to be a sunny warm day and afternoon. I suppose that tomorrow and the next day will be pretty much the same. Well, this is the sort of weather we get these days isn't it? It is quite amazing. Rain, rain and more rain and even more fog.

What happened to the weather?

Yes, it's depressing looking out of the window these days because well everything is so dull and drab there is no color to look at so to speak. The sky seems washed out all the time and then we have all these weird clouds It's quite strange really. Of course I can remember the 1960s to 1970s and the skies were lovely and blue. The sun was yellow and warm. We never had any of this horrible weather we have now. I remember going to school and it would rain and it would be a warm rain. It rained for a few minutes. It's gone. Yes, the weather has definitely changed. Well, I suppose it's getting colder. I say it's getting warmer but to me having MS it's like getting colder and hotter at the same time. I know it sounds a bit weird but when you have MS it can cause all sorts of issues. The heat and the cold. There is no such thing as a good temperate climate I'm afraid. Well, not in the UK anyway but I hear Portugal is supposed to be quite good.

No market, the weather is atrocious.

So I have been looking forward to this all week and yes, the market that we only get once a month Well, I'm not gonna be able to get there. What with the weather? It is too cold It is too wet and there are some quite mega puddles about I know it's only a couple of miles to the market But the thing is my three-wheel trolley of death does not like the wet weather and I fear that the brakes might not be very good in this wet weather either and Yeah, I don't want to be having an accident that would never do So it's in the garage and that's where it's going to stay till tomorrow when I'm going to try and go out for a few hours somewhere with Albertine and then hope it's fairly dry because the cold and the wet, well, these mobility scooters don't like the cold. No, they don't. It affects their performance quite drastically. It's... Battery does not last very long in the cold. It can drain overnight if you leave your battery outside. Yes, it can. And I have lost two sets of batteries over the past few years, and it's cost me nearly 400 quid each time, I think. And that's not good. But there we go. We learn. And when we learn at our own costs sometimes...

Maintenance of mobility scooters

The most important thing to remember whatever mobility scooter you have is to keep it regularly maintained. I found the most important thing is squirting lube on the bearings on the wheels. Because believe it or not those bearings do need lubrication and all you have to do is remove one nut on mine and you can see the bearing and just squirting in some silicon grease does the business. It makes that ball race go round like a dream. and also generally keeping an eye on the tightness of all your bolts as well as what I have found on my three-wheeled scooter of death literally after going out and coming back there are several nuts that decide to come loose, I have now got some lock nut solution on those to stop them coming undone but the quality of some of these nuts and bolts ....I've never seen such rubbishy nuts and bolts to be honest with you ...

The next mobility scooter that I'm getting

The next mobility scooter that I'm getting will be a four-wheeled mobility scooter and it will have solid tyres. Yes, punctures are a hazard on a mobility scooter if you're on the road or pavement as there are all sorts of horrible little things that can quite easily puncture your tyres. At the moment I have to carry a Tyre pump and a solution to putting the inner tube in case I have a puncture. Yes, being caught out in the middle of nowhere with a puncture is no fun as I have found out to my cost when I had to bring my three-wheeled scooter of death home on two wheels. That indeed was precarious. Also, I'm going to make sure it's a scooter that has a removable battery so I can put the scooter in the garage and charge the battery separately. And keep the battery out of the cold and also have a spare battery is also a good thing.

Also on the three-wheeled trolley of death or scooter of death or whatever we call it, there is a big big big problem and that is if you go too far, you're not coming home. Yes, the problem is here that the distance that it says in the book isn't the distance that you actually get when you're actually out on it. So, yeah, the mileage is a bit iffy to say the least because it's got to do with weather conditions. And as we know, weather conditions in the UK are pretty crappy, so it's going to be pretty crappy battery performance on a cold day. So yeah, the new scooter that I am hopefully getting does about 30 miles and I'll carry a spare battery so that'll give me maybe what 60 miles but who the hell wants to do 60 miles on the mobility scooter in a day? Well could you actually do that? Just imagine the traffic hold-ups and the abuse that you would suffer. It'd be quite comical really. It'd be a bit like having a tractor going slow with big bales on the back and yeah you get the picture.

UFO UAP disclosure and other things.

So they say aliens walk amongst us. I find that quite exciting if it's true. But what happens if we're the aliens? Has anybody ever thought of that? I know, that's a bit weird, isn't it? So I hear no one ask out there, well how's your autonomic dysfunction going? Well, how is it going? I'm managing to keep it down to a bearable level. using the AI to help me with what I can and cannot eat, and we went through a list of foods that can set off histamine reactions in my body, and also foods with histamines in that can cause a reaction. I was surprised to find that even some foods with no histamines in can cause a histamine reaction in the body and can cause the body to make histamine. I was surprised but I have done what the AI has told me to do.

Shh don't tell the nhs lol

Now, the thing is, let's keep this quiet lol . I used a medical AI. And to be honest with you, it's better than any doctor I have ever seen. And it helped me so much. It was unfucking believable. So if you're like me and you're really suffering and you are desperate for help and there is none coming from the NHS, what I suggest is try a medical AI. And it helped me, it put my mind at rest. And my autonomic dysfunction now is at bearable levels. I really have had my eyes opened that speaking to an AI about my MS and autonomic dysfunction has been more fruitful than ever talking to doctors, nurses, MS, nurses, or neurologists, or any healthcare professionals, to be honest with you. The thing is the AI listens and listens and listens and listens. It doesn't ignore you, it doesn't gaslight you, it doesn't treat you like a fucking idiot. That's the difference. AI treats you more like a human than the doctor or the neurologist does. You go see the neurologist or the doctor, it's a pat on the head. Good boy, good girl. Now fuck off. Go away. I'm not going to speak to you for weeks to tell you what's wrong with you. But I already know. You know, these people act like God. Well they're not gods. I've proved that because I've had AI help me and I trust AI over the triage I've ever had anywhere else.

But that's my own personnel opinion always seek help from a healthcare professional if your not me

So yes, I have used modern day tools to help me. But enough of all that, that was a bit of a rant I'm afraid. Well, I've been waiting for ten years to get this autonomic dysfunction sorted out, and well, you know, I'm nearly there, but I don't think I am.

Stress levels. It was due to a double glazing salesman would you believe?

This week has been one of the worst weeks for a long time for my stress levels. I suppose this is one of the first times I've ever talked about my stress levels. Well, I find that people can stress me out and when I get too stressed out, I tend to react. And yes, yesterday I had to leave the room due to getting so stressed out. It was unreal. It was due to a double glazing salesman would you believe? He was trying the hard sell and to be honest I could see he was trying to push bully maneuver you know the sort of thing your wheelchair use you're also a pensioner and yeah you know the real hard sell big boy pressure stuff So after about 10, 15 minutes of his bullshit, I decided that I was going to go.

But he kept on and on and on and my fuse was getting shorter and shorter and shorter and I was getting really wound up. You know what it's like and I just had, I just said, I'm not feeling too good and I had to leave the room and an Albertine deal with it because the guy had me really stressed and yeah, I was feeling so angry, it was unbelievable. I wanted to deck the bloke, I know, that's a really bad thing and it's a really bad place to be in. But when you're under pressure and somebody knows that you're ill and they're pressuring you, it's a nasty thing to do, isn't it? So I had to suffer massive stress. Yeah, well, if a certain person had been there, that wouldn't have happened. And well, there we go. So yes, when you are disabled and you are in a wheelchair, you can be at the mercy of people. And I don't find that very, very nice. Yes. So it really is a fucked up world.

Sometimes I think what's the point? To all of this bullshit that I have to go through every day. or the stress I have to go through every day, or the pain I have to go through every day, or the headfucks I have to go through every day, the brain fog, constant spasms, the constant, the constant horrible feelings I have to go through in my head and my body. If you go through this, do you truly understand what it's like to have pins and needles in your body? Lightning bolts going up and down your spine, going down your legs. Your tongue is half eaten away because when you try to eat food, your tongue's so numb, you chew your tongue off. When your tongue starts spasming, that is the freakiest fucking thing of all, and that really, really freaks me out. It's just awful. And the thing is it plays hell with your mental health as well. And really, really, really is debilitating and people just do not realize. In fact, I believe a lot of people don't give a fuck about me or care.

To be honest, I feel like I've been pushed in a corner by everybody and just left a fucking Rot. Yeah, that's the way it feels, but there we go. Life is generally very strange, but when you have a chronic illness, or you're me, life can get very strange. Yes, so fellow humanoids and maybe aliens out there who are reading this blog, I wish you a most pleasant happy weekend. And if I have said anything that has upset anybody, I am truly sorry. And yes, everybody have a good one because I need to at some point have a good time. But the hell I'm going through, fuck knows when it's going to happen.

Warlock Dark Chronic illness survivor, truth-teller, occasional bastard. From My Living Hell (For those who came here by accident: yes, my living hell is real. And yes, we still fight. Every shitty day. With defiance.)

@goblinbloggeruk - sick@mylivinghell.co.uk 𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᛞᚱᚨᚷᛟᚾ ᛏᚱᚨᚾᛋᚲᚺᚱᛁᛖᛞ ✦ ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱ 𒀸𒀭 ᚢᚾᛒᛟᚢᚾᛞ

⚠️ Please read with care: This blog shares personal, sometimes painful experiences. My intention is to support and speak honestly not to harm. I’m not a professional, just someone who understands how hard it can get. If you're struggling, you're not alone please reach out for professional help.

please remember I suffer with severe cognitive dysfunction this may be a confusing read. no AI written content

Well, a very good afternoon to everybody.sorry but I am a bit down atm Yes, I have been to see the Neurologist, a three-hour round trip which was, to be quite honest with you, a complete waste of time. So I am off to my bed when finished I am so dam tired and stressed out.....

I was prepared with my notes, but was I allowed to speak?

I had everything written out and really he didn't give me a chance to finish off what I was saying. what It was, I don't know what's wrong with you sort of thing. I'm going to have to look it up. Loads and loads of excuses and gaslighting and placating. Ask me, "Oh, that shouldn't happen with this and that shouldn't. Are you sure?" Oh, dear me. Never heard of it. I was sat there in my wheelchair, not knowing what to do. Luckily Albertine was there with me as my speech started to fail me. So, after my 15 minute consultation with the neurologist, I am no further forward and have to wake weeks, because he's got to go and look at what he thinks it could be. I gave him a list of everything that affects me, upsets me the whole nine yards. And you know what? He still couldn't understand what's going on.

severe food intolerance and histamine reactions

I pointed out I cannot eat certain foods or even smell them because of what it does to me. And he sort of looked at me rather strangely. And then said again, I've never heard of that. So, all I got was a neurologist saying to me, "I've never heard of that, and I am a number wiser." Oh, yeah, he scratched the bottom of my foot, made me push things from my arms and everything looked at me eyes, whatnot. But that's beside the point. I went in there to discuss about autonomic dysfunction. It wasn't even discussed. He didn't want to know. It's as though, "Oh, I'm God. I know what's wrong with you. I'm going to look it up and not tell you. They may not have heard about metabolic Food intolerance's , They may not even know about that, so, you know, when I go to see a neurologist and I have all the information at hand, which I have gone through with a medical AI, everything was correct, it's just they, the neurologist did not want to know. It was either his way or no way. So, guess what, that's it, I'm going to be finding another neurologist in another hospital, because this cannot keep going on.

heart attack 5 years ago still not being seen

I was asked when was the last time you saw a heart doctor, oh, that was after my last heart attack five years ago, I've never seen anybody since then. Oh, he said, when was the last time I've seen nobody I explained, I've been left to fucking rot, the health service lost me, and look what's happened. Yes, look what's happened, I'm now so fucked up, so ill with everything, I don't know whether I'm coming or going, and you didn't listen to me and nobody's fucking helping me, so again, I'm stuck, not going forwards, just going steadily steadily backwards. The gas lighting is absolutely shameless in the NHS as far as I'm concerned.

So, what's next for me?

Well, I'm quite angry, but in the cold light of day, I have decided that I'm going to fight this, and I'm not going to give up. I'm not going to give the satisfaction of these people, because I know what is wrong with me, and they don't. You know, these neurologists and they're God-complex, it's quite unbelievable. I have put in so much research on my condition, it's unreal. Even using the latest medical AI, and they all came to the same conclusion with all my symptoms. It's a pity that my neurologist couldn't put my symptoms into his AI and came up with what's wrong with me because it would have been very simple indeed. But again, he didn't listen. No, he didn't.

This has been going on for 10 years.

All of this has been going on for 10 years in various hospitals with various neuro departments. So, do I have any confidence? No, I do not have any confidence at the moment. Over the past years, the 8 years, I have had some horrendous times and I have been ignored, I have been thrown to the side. It is absolutely awful. It is a hell. The last past 10 years have been the biggest living hell I have ever had to live and I wouldn't wish anybody my life. That's how bad it's been. It seems they want to ignore my symptoms. Yes, like they try to ignore my multiple sclerosis for over 20 years, and then made me go through a living hell to get my diagnosis for that. So yes, I feel badly let down by the National Health Service, doctors and everybody concerned over the last past 50 years. It's been hell. And if you've been there yourself, you'll know what it's like being stuck on a conveyor belt, one that goes round in a circle, the one you never get off, because they don't allow you to.

Well, there we go, still, sending anyone and everybody peace-healing love and light, and wishing everybody a fantastic week ahead. Happiness and smiles to everyone everywhere.

Warlock Dark Chronic illness survivor, truth-teller, occasional bastard. From My Living Hell (For those who came here by accident: yes, my living hell is real. And yes, we still fight. Every shitty day. With defiance.)

@goblinbloggeruk - sick@mylivinghell.co.uk 𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᛞᚱᚨᚷᛟᚾ ᛏᚱᚨᚾᛋᚲᚺᚱᛁᛖᛞ ✦ ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱ 𒀸𒀭 ᚢᚾᛒᛟᚢᚾᛞ

⚠️ Please read with care: This blog shares personal, sometimes painful experiences. My intention is to support and speak honestly not to harm. I’m not a professional, just someone who understands how hard it can get. If you're struggling, you're not alone please reach out for professional help.

please remember I suffer with severe cognitive dysfunction this may be a confusing read. non AI content

hello fellow Humanoids

So we're nearly at the weekend and it's Friday morning and it's absolutely tipping down with rain here. The skies have opened up. It's very, very dark. I got some amazingly great news yesterday. Yes, my power chair is being delivered next Wednesday hopefully, and also a spare manual chair as well. So that is amazing awesome news indeed. Well worth waiting for. They were really helpful at the NHS wheelchair service where we are. I must say they really put themselves out and really helped me. I know it took quite a while but then again you see bureaucracy and what with one thing and another. But still we get there in the end, that's the main thing.

But the three-wheel trolley of death, well we own two of them, are still in the garage. And yes, we will be putting them in the back of D1, and we're going to attempt to ride both of them over a bridge. And this bridge is one of these big car bridges with pedestrian walkways. takes about 20 minutes to go over. So we're hoping that the wind will not be too bad and it will be a warmer day. Yes, I'm so looking forward to taking my power chair out as well. But I'm even looking forward to taking out my three-wheel trolley of death. Yes, I'm hoping that this autonomic dysfunction gets sorted out soon.

I am hoping personally now that people are in the know about what's going on, that things will move forward a little bit more faster, a little bit quicker, you know, not being left in a queue and forgotten about for 5 years. When the people realise that you've been lost in the system for a quite considerable time, they are very apologetic, they are very nice people. I don't blame the people, I just blame the system and I think their system needs to have some maybe updating and maybe people who know what they're doing running it. I am a great believer that AI will be a massive help to the general practice or general practitioner as putting your Issues to the AI. The AI can help sort things out and make sense of things before it gets to the doctor. I have used AI and it has helped me greatly and I'm an advocate for AI in general practice. As I feel, AI is a very good triage agent. As every time i have anything to do with the doctors nurses or any health care people i consult my a i first. And i get the relevant questions that i need to ask. And yes it does help me and i do have white coat syndrome and that has helped me immensely asking the right questions and no when i'm being gas lit so yes medical a i has helped multiple sclerosis suffer me 110%.

Yes, here goes the saga of Linux as well, as you have known for the past load of months. During my brain fogs and my general dysfunctions, I have been mucking around with Linux and various Linux distros. And I would say I've used over 10 different Linux distros. And the first one I used was Linux Mint. And since then, I have used others, but I have gone back to Linux Mint. In fact, I am now using Linux Mint instead of Windows, as I find it amazingly fast for what I need. And the software is all open source and free.

So yeah, I am really happy now I have changed. But then again, it's a new learning curve for me, which I am really enjoying. I'm enjoying the fact that it is stretching my brain till it hurts. I still remember using Susie Linux back in the 80s and that was mind blowing then when I used the distro from a DVD or CD as was then back in the day. So, now I find myself strangely Linux boyman or whatever you want to call me. I feel it is a better system and it will go on most laptops or even mobile phones now.

There is a version of Linux for the mobile phone. Yes, I really do think it is time people look seriously into Linux as Linux is just as good if not better than Windows 11 allegidly and more secure and people really give a damn about Linux. They really do care and there is lots of help out there. So yeah, give Linux a go even if it is just on a pen drive and you are doing the live version on the pen drive. Go for it because it is just so worth it.

So this week is ending on a better note than last week. Yes, my autonomic dysfunction has got slightly more stable and everything is starting to come together. I'm still in intense pain in the mornings in my bowels, but that's life I expect that. The tinnitus has, well, not really quieted down. It's been a real pain in the arse. And no matter who or what I play seems to drown it out, I've tried absolutely everything, and nothing seems to work at the moment. I think stress makes the tinnitus worse, but there we go. I do try to live a stress-free life the best I can.

As for the traped nerve in my shoulder neck, that seems now to be getting less and less . The pain was intense and I had four nights of no sleep whatsoever. But by the time I got round to get it seen to, I suppose I'd gone through such pain that The painkillers really never took any effect that I took. I sort of just tough my way through it with a lot of groaning and moaning and just lying on the bed and trying to take my mind off the pain. And I did a lot of thinking and I did a lot of existential thinking as well. and decided that I was going to put exactly what I think on here. And I was going to probably talk a lot about my past as well as past as they say does affect the future.

So the weekend is looming and what excitement it won't bring for me and albertine.... yes nothing much will be happening here well nothing much does happen we don't get many visitors here ... I often wonder if any of my brothers or sisters or any of my family would ever bother to dain or bother to get in contact with me, the black sheep of the family. I would always give them the warmest of welcomes, and I would never be a horrible nasty person toward them. But I suppose such is life, and they walk there path, and I walk mine.

I have been looking to try and find a paranormal group or a person who does research on things like orbs and ultra-terrestrials and time slips and things like that. But I have had no luck whatsoever. I have sent many emails to many groups and to many people with a lot of the things that have happened to me. And I have had no reply whatsoever and I begin to wonder why. So yes, I would like to speak to somebody who's been through paranormal experiences, maybe with things that are from another dimension, maybe a hybrid alien, maybe, you know, ghosts, anything like that, any sort of sensible discussion would be really welcomed. I didn't realize that I personally, my belief is that of gnosis. And yes, I was surprised as anything, but I was told that I have been living a Gnostic or Gnosis life and I didn't realize it and then I suddenly realized and it absolutely blew my mind. So I'm a Gnostic Wiccan, I believe is the title, what they call me now. But I also realise I have lots of liminal experiences. Some of them cannot be explained, but some of them can. And I always welcome discussion about what is going on with me, as I really do want to know the truth. If all of this what I'm going through and I've been experiencing for all these years is to do with my MS, then, fair enough, but I have enough evidence to prove that it's not. So, where do I go from here? Because the people I contact to try and discuss these things just don't want to know. What do I do? Where do I go? That's why I'm doing this blog because I'm trying to ask questions and trying to get answers, not from an artificial intelligence, but from real people.

At this moment in time my head seems to be in the 70s and 1980s, remembering all the music, remembering just how it used to be. The good old, bad old days of the 1900s. I must say for me personally, the 70s and the 80s were a real shitty time to grow up. Because when you have an illness that you don't realise you've got and it's progressing slowly and it causes you issues all the way up and through your teenage years, my God it takes a toll. All those times I remember sitting in a chair when I couldn't feel my whole left hand side and that my arms and the hands and feet had pins and needles and I had bad neuralgia. This was when I was eight, nine and ten years of age. The doctors just seemed to think it was growing pains, but I know different now.

The worst thing of all of this is that I was adopted in the 1950s and the people who adopted me were to say the least not fit to be parents, even though they were so-called pillars of society. To be honest I suffered mental and physical cruelty for the first 14 years of my life. But then again, that's another log post, I think.

So yeah, as if having progressive multiple sclerosis wasn't bad enough, I suffer with adoption issues. Well, not really. I suppose the trauma PTSD of my adoption has been worked out and gone through. But my God, my life was a living hell. And my multiple sclerosis now makes my life a living hell as well. But such is life. It is totally amazing how illness can change your life without you even realizing it. And to be honest with you, I knew there was something wrong with me from an early age. And I was only vindicated by my first MRI and lumbar puncture. Yes, they tried to gaslite me for quite a few years to what was wrong with me. And well, I had very badly Gillum Barry, according to them, which I believe was an MS attack full-blown because it had me in hospital for well over a week. They said they had found something strange in my lumber puncture, and they did not know what it, what of course they knew what it was. They just didn't want to tell me what was wrong with me, and then I suffered mental health and white coat syndrome for year upon year as they gaslit me and didn't tell me what was going on with me.

So, yeah, now I have changed. And I advocate for myself. And I don't listen to what the doctors say. I read medical books. I use medical AI. I ask people questions. I ask the raw, real truth. Yes, I know it hurts, but it has to be asked. And people have to know the truth about how MS will suffer and how it will make them suffer and what it will do to them. and try and find ways to help relieve all the symptoms of multiple sclerosis. And also try to inform people what harm multiple sclerosis can do to the brain and to the body, to the mental health, in fact, to the whole person.

People are really not getting what a destructive, destroying illness this truly is. It is pure fucking Armageddon. And I live And people like me... live this Armageddon every day. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, without any break, just getting worse. Yes, just getting worse, knowing that one day, that will be it, I will be no more. I will just be a body in a crematorium being burnt. And that's the plain sad truth of the matter. I know my destiny is, well, death, but I don't mind. I don't have a problem with that. I just don't want to suffer before. That's my points, you know? I want to have my dignity. I want to be me until my last breath. Yes, I don't want to be put in a home to just rot. I want to try and be me until then and I just hope that I can stay sane enough to be who I am. That's why I do this blog, that's why it's raw, and I am unapologetic about its rawness. Anyhow, that's it from me.

Wishing everyone out there. Peace, healing, love and light, no matter who or what you are.

Warlock Dark Chronic illness survivor, truth-teller, occasional bastard. From My Living Hell (For those who came here by accident: yes, my living hell is real. And yes, we still fight. Every shitty day. With defiance.)

@goblinbloggeruk - sick@mylivinghell.co.uk 𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᛞᚱᚨᚷᛟᚾ ᛏᚱᚨᚾᛋᚲᚺᚱᛁᛖᛞ ✦ ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱ 𒀸𒀭 ᚢᚾᛒᛟᚢᚾᛞ