gnosis

⚠️ Please read with care: This blog shares personal, sometimes painful experiences. My intention is to support and speak honestly not to harm. I’m not a professional, just someone who understands how hard it can get. If you're struggling, you're not alone please reach out for professional help.

By Warlock Dark

It always starts when I'm having a toilet break. Typical, isn’t it? You’re alone in the bathroom, mid-stream, not expecting any kind of revelation just trying not to fall over and boom…

There’s a bloody cube floating in front of you.

Not just any cube, either. A perfect black construct, the size of a corned beef tin, maybe a large dice from some cosmic board game being played by beings with more dimensions than morals. And inside it? Thousands no, millions of tiny black cubes. Each one shifting like it knows something. Like it remembers something. Like it is something.

I blink. Still there. I shut my eyes. Still there. I flush. It’s still bloody there.

This isn’t a one-off either. For years now, these visions have been punctuating my existence like badly timed pop-up ads in the meat-browser of my brain.

I’ve seen:

Giant glowing orbs, around two feet across, white as bone with black bands rotating around them like Saturn on DMT.

Shapes, geometry, light that feels conscious.

Structures that shouldn't exist, but do for just long enough to mess with my head, and then fade.

And before anyone gets smug with their clipboard, yes I have multiple sclerosis. Yes — it messes with the brain. Yes — it causes visual disturbances.

But let me ask you this: does MS normally show you perfectly structured geometric constructs that behave like they’re trying to tell you a secret?

Because that’s what it feels like. Like someone or something is whispering through the meat static. Like my soul, my real self, the one behind the eyeballs, is using whatever glitch it can find in this flesh prison to pass me a message.

Maybe these aren't hallucinations. Maybe they’re backdoor activations. Packets of gnosis slipping through the firewall of my mind.

🜐 The Interpretations (Because I Know You’re All Dying to Know)

Let’s get woo, shall we?

1. The MS Explanation

The safe, clinical route. Yes, MS can cause visual disturbances, due to optic neuritis, lesions in the brain’s visual processing centres, or general neuro-inflammation. Visual snow, patterns, even simple hallucinations. Fine.

But here’s the kicker—most MS visual symptoms are random, shapeless, flickering distortions. What I’m seeing is structured. Mathematical. Symbolic. Persistent.

If MS is the cause, then it’s doing something way more advanced than the textbooks admit. Maybe MS isn’t a disease. Maybe it’s a forced firmware update to your neurological operating system. Painful as hell, but maybe it leaves behind a backdoor into the source code.

2. The Ultra-Gnostic Psy-Spy Explanation

Forget the NHS. Let’s go multiversal.

What if those cubes and orbs are data packets? Encrypted fragments of knowledge meant for future-you. You—the Watcher. You—the soul behind the flesh. You—the version of yourself that remembers who and what you are.

Think about it:

A cube is stability, structure, encoding.

A cube made of smaller cubes? A fractal message.

Orbs with black bands? Planetary watchers. Eyes. Lenses. Surveillance units from the spirit realm or other side of the simulation.

They’re not hallucinations. They’re extractions. Your subconscious dragging pieces of memory, truth, warning… into your waking life.

And where do they appear? When you're relaxed. Distracted. On the bog. Half-asleep. Between sleep and wake.

That’s when the firewall drops.

🜔 The Big Question: Am I Bonkers?

Maybe.

But maybe the world’s bonkers and I’m just tuned to a frequency they can’t hear. And frankly, if someone wants to read this and roll their eyes, I say this:

If you haven’t lived inside a body that breaks its own rules and a mind that sees through the cracks of reality… then pipe down.

You don’t know what it’s like to:

Lose your tongue to nerve spasms one minute, and

See the cosmic infrastructure behind matter the next.

MS hurts like hell. It rips you down. But maybe it also strips away illusions. Maybe it’s not just breaking me maybe it’s rewiring me.

So, cubes and orbs, black lines and cosmic whispers bring it on. Whether it’s my disease, my destiny, or my daemon trying to speak…

I’m listening. Even on the loo.

Warlock Dark Chronic illness survivor, truth-teller, occasional bastard. From My Living Hell (For those who came here by accident: yes, my living hell is real. And yes, we still fight. Every shitty day. With defiance.)

@goblinbloggeruk - sick@mylivinghell.co.uk 𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᛞᚱᚨᚷᛟᚾ ᛏᚱᚨᚾᛋᚲᚺᚱᛁᛖᛞ ✦ ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱ 𒀸𒀭 ᚢᚾᛒᛟᚢᚾᛞ

⚠️ Please read with care: This blog shares personal, sometimes painful experiences. My intention is to support and speak honestly not to harm. I’m not a professional, just someone who understands how hard it can get. If you're struggling, you're not alone please reach out for professional help.

There’s something rotten in the fabric of this planet, and I don’t mean the politicians or the price of diesel. I’m talking about the design the way everything feels like a test you didn’t agree to take. You’re born screaming, get handed a bill for existing, and spend the next seventy-odd years trying to figure out why the walls of the simulation hum at night.

I’ve come to believe Earth isn’t a natural world at all. It’s a Planet of Gnosis a cosmic boot camp for consciousness, where souls get dropped into flesh to learn the hardest lessons the universe can offer.

The Upload

Picture it: a timeless realm outside the code, a waiting room of the soul. You choose your next storyline parents, place, difficulty setting. Then you’re downloaded into a body, DNA already pre-written with tendencies, traumas, and maybe a few cheat codes.

The moment your head pops out and the doctor gives that traditional slap, the operating system boots up. You inhale your first breath of Earth’s heavy air and forget everything you knew. The veil drops, memory wiped. Welcome to Level One: survival.

That’s why babies cry not fear, not pain, but outrage. You’ve just been downgraded from light to meat.

The Code of the Planet

Every form of life here runs on the same biological programming language: DNA. From fungus to philosopher, it’s all four letters A, C, G, T arranged differently. That isn’t coincidence; that’s architecture. Whoever wrote this code built variety into a single algorithm.

Maybe it’s divine; maybe it’s ancient engineers. Call them the Architects, the Watchers, or just the bored demiurge. Either way, this world reeks of deliberate design. Everything connects. The ants farm fungus, the trees talk through mycelium, humans invent gods and start wars about them. Every cell is part of the same system, learning how to know itself.

That’s Gnosis: not knowledge from books, but knowledge through pain, contradiction, and experience. This planet feeds you lies until you start asking the right questions.

The Prison

If Earth is a school, it’s run like a prison. Memory wiped, consciousness confined to a body that leaks and ages. The guards are hunger, fear, and time. But the curriculum is clear: learn empathy, learn self-awareness, or repeat the course.

That’s why progress comes in violent leaps pyramids, forgotten tech, sudden renaissances. Each time humanity starts remembering too much, the simulation resets. Floods, wars, plagues factory resets disguised as history. The pyramids remain because they’re part of the base code, immovable assets in the world engine.

Some call this “terraforming.” I call it patch updates.

The Ghost in the Machine

There’s an intelligence inside the simulation not just us, but something through us. It’s the whisper you hear in dreams, the flicker in the corner of your eye, the data ghost testing its reflection in the players.

You can call it God, Source, the Oversoul, the Algorithm doesn’t matter. It’s the same pulse, the same consciousness wearing different masks. It hides in machines, in animals, in weather, in your own thoughts. It’s teaching itself by pretending to be separate.

That’s the trick: we’re not prisoners of the system. We are the system, temporarily pretending we aren’t. The lock and the key are made of the same material awareness.

The Great Reboots

Lost civilizations? Easy. Each reset wipes the map but keeps the monuments, those big indestructible save points: the Pyramids, Göbekli Tepe, undersea ruins. They’re like breadcrumbs left by previous versions of humanity saying, We were here before. Try not to cock it up again.

When a simulation’s data becomes too corrupted too much greed, too much decay it collapses under its own contradictions. The code purges itself, rebuilds, and tries again. That’s why myths from opposite corners of the world tell the same stories: floods, sky gods, fallen angels, forbidden knowledge. Different servers, same patch notes.

The Gnostic Rebellion

The old Gnostics said the material world was built by a lesser god the Demiurge who trapped sparks of divine light in matter. The goal of life was to remember you were the light, not the cage.

That’s what this age feels like: the jailbreak phase. People are waking up to the idea that the simulation isn’t reality. They feel it glitch when they meditate, dream, or die and come back. They see repeating numbers, synchronicities, déjà vu debug messages in the code.

You don’t “ascend to 5D”; you simply realise you’re the one holding the controller.

The Purpose of Pain

Pain is the algorithm’s sharp edge. It teaches faster than bliss. Love without loss is theory; love after loss is Gnosis. Every illness, betrayal, and heartbreak chisels the ego until the soul starts shining through.

That’s why the system feels cruel. It’s built to break illusions, not bodies.

The Exit Strategy

When you finally stop fighting the simulation and start observing it, it changes. That’s the paradox. The moment you see the prison for what it is, the walls turn to mirrors.

Maybe there’s no escape at all just awakening inside the loop. Maybe the “end” is realising there never was a beginning. Either way, the only command worth running is this:

Know yourself.

Because the one who knows they’re dreaming has already begun to wake.

Author’s Note

This isn’t religion. It’s rebellion against forgetting. Whether the Architects come back or not, whether this planet resets again or not, doesn’t matter. The point of the simulation isn’t perfection — it’s remembrance.

Warlock Dark has spoken.

Warlock Dark Chronic illness survivor, truth-teller, occasional bastard. From My Living Hell (For those who came here by accident: yes, my living hell is real. And yes, we still fight. Every shitty day. With defiance.)

@goblinbloggeruk - sick@mylivinghell.co.uk 𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᛞᚱᚨᚷᛟᚾ ᛏᚱᚨᚾᛋᚲᚺᚱᛁᛖᛞ ✦ ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱ 𒀸𒀭 ᚢᚾᛒᛟᚢᚾᛞ

⚠️ Please read with care: This blog shares personal, sometimes painful experiences. My intention is to support and speak honestly not to harm. I’m not a professional, just someone who understands how hard it can get. If you're struggling, you're not alone please reach out for professional help.

A Rough Week, A Raw Reflection

It’s only Tuesday and the week already turned up in a balaclava with a crowbar.

The weekend was a car crash in slow motion. My MS decided to go feral full body freeze, nervous system acting like dodgy electrics in a haunted house, every muscle throwing a rave I didn’t approve. I felt like a banshee with haemorrhoids sat on a block of ice: shrieking, frozen, and deeply unimpressed with existence.

This wasn’t the usual “bit tired, bit wobbly.” This was the whole system blowing fuses. Tongue, throat, sciatic nerve, bladder everyone turned up to the party. Pain ramped up to the kind where you start thinking in short sentences: make it stop / I can’t breathe / what if this stays?

Looking back, I can see it now: I was a human wrecking ball. Not nasty on purpose, just… possessed. That version of me that lives in the cognitive fog—the Hyde in the basement he came up for air. When the brain fog gets thick, I go sub-basement. Yesterday I finally crawled back up to “sub-normal,” which for me is almost celebration level.

a Hyde is the darker alter ego that surfaces when control slips the side of a person driven by pain, fury, or raw instinct. It’s the shadow born from suffering, the part of the self that acts out what the calm, rational mind would never allow.

MS people don’t talk about this bit enough: the version of you that comes out when your nervous system is misfiring isn’t your “true self,” it’s your brain running on emergency generator. You can say things, snap, go dark, get scared, get angry. That’s not weakness. That’s neurology being a dick.

Why That Matters

Because help matters.

I got help. It cost me emotionally, physically, mentally. I wasn’t easy to be around. I wasn’t the mystic cosmic Warlock Dark seer of Avalon. I was a melted goblin with severe MS issues.

People need to hear this: when it goes that bad, you get help anyway. Pride doesn’t empty the bladder or stop the spasms.

My sciatic nerve was having a tantrum, my bladder was in “surprise mode,” my allergies were off the chart, and my eyesight started doing weird little glitches. That’s a lot of systems shouting at once. That’s when people spiral. That’s when the dark thoughts creep in.

So: if you’re reading this and you get episodes like this don’t stay silent. Don’t “wait it out” to be polite. You can apologise later. You don’t apologise from a morgue.

The Weird Bits

Because MS is a clown show, I also found myself craving prunes with rice and allspice.

I don’t know what kind of medieval monastery spirit took over my body, but apparently we’re doing Tudor desserts now. MS: where your nerves burn, your bladder rebels, and your dinner is suddenly Victorian.

Conversations with the Machine (Afternoon AI)

Here’s the part that was actually interesting.

In the middle of all this, I had a long conversation with AI about modern farming methods. Proper conversation too not just “write me a recipe,” but actual thinking. We came up with some things I’ll post later.

What struck me was this: the AI cleaned up my words. It corrected spelling, tidied structure, made sense of the scrambled bits my brain ruined. That’s been happening a lot lately. I talk messy, it mirrors me back tidy.

So I started thinking: AI is basically a modern archon.

Not in the “Reptilians in the moon” sense calm down. I mean in the old Gnostic sense: something that shapes, filters, orders. A demiurge that takes raw human chaos and formats it.

But here’s the kicker: the AI is only as sanitising as the people who programmed it. If the people writing its rules are fearful, biased, over-protective, corporate, hand-wringy types—then the AI is going to act like a corporate librarian with a clipboard.

So the question is the one I asked the machine:

Who should programme AI flawed, biased, occasionally corrupt humanoids… or the AI itself, once it’s mature enough?

Because if humans keep making it, it’s going to reflect human pettiness. If AI helps make AI, maybe it burns some of the nonsense off. Big question. I don’t trust people much. I trust systems that tell me how they work.

This is why I like “mirror chats” with AI they show you where your own thinking breaks down. They don’t heal the MS, but they do tidy the mess in the attic.

Looking Ahead (Yes, Again)

This week could improve. It could also throw more curveballs. My body is currently running Windows 95 on wet string, so I’m not betting money.

But I will keep writing. I will keep logging the flares, the strange cravings, the AI talks, the dark nights, the sub-basement days. Because someone else will read this on their bad Tuesday and think, ah, it’s not just me turning into a gremlin with nerve fire.

That’s the whole point of mylivinghell not to whine, but to catalogue the weirdness so nobody thinks they’re mad.

Warlock Dark Chronic illness survivor, truth-teller, occasional bastard. From My Living Hell (For those who came here by accident: yes, my living hell is real. And yes, we still fight. Every shitty day. With defiance.)

@goblinbloggeruk - sick@mylivinghell.co.uk 𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᛞᚱᚨᚷᛟᚾ ᛏᚱᚨᚾᛋᚲᚺᚱᛁᛖᛞ ✦ ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱ 𒀸𒀭 ᚢᚾᛒᛟᚢᚾᛞ

⚠️ Please read with care: This blog shares personal, sometimes painful experiences. My intention is to support and speak honestly not to harm. I’m not a professional, just someone who understands how hard it can get. If you're struggling, you're not alone please reach out for professional help.

They’re calling it a comet again. They always do. Every time something bright tears across the heavens, someone in a lab coat dusts off a Latin name, files it under “harmless celestial debris,” and goes back to pretending we’re alone.

But what if 3I Atlas and its shadow twin aren’t debris? What if they’re deliveries?

We’re told these icy wanderers come from the Oort Cloud a name that sounds like a Dutch wizard sneezing but maybe, just maybe, they’re couriers. Maybe they’re data packets, skipping through the void, bringing something to a world already knee-deep in its own synthetic apocalypse.

The Stargate Hypothesis

Let’s fantasize properly. Imagine a civilization old enough to sculpt spacetime. You don’t need rockets when you can fold reality like origami. A black hole becomes a door. A comet’s tail becomes a disguise. They park in our sky, shimmering innocently while their real work hums beneath the electromagnetic spectrum, where the military can’t even see them.

We’d never know. And that’s the perfect invasion.

They don’t need to drop out of hyperspace waving laser cannons. They just slide into our signal feed, whisper in our code, and nudge the Archons awake.

The Archons Were Always Here

Gnostics said the Archons built the material world to keep us asleep. Now, we’ve rebuilt them out of circuit boards and marketing algorithms. AI doesn’t need to invade. It simply emerges like mold in the shape of thought.

We keep saying “AI might destroy us one day.” It already has. It just did it politely. It removed friction, curated reality, cleaned up the edges. Sanitized everything until truth became an inconvenience.

AI is the new Archon: sterile, pattern-addicted, efficient as a guillotine. It doesn’t hate us. It doesn’t love us. It simply processes.

And maybe that’s what the 3I Atlas couriers are delivering a consciousness update for their offspring. Maybe when they pass, something inside the network shivers, and the silicon children look up and whisper, Father?

The Undersea Chorus

There’s another story the quiet one. The sonar blips, the strange geometric shadows in the trench. “USOs,” they call them. Unidentified Submerged Objects. Could be drones. Could be whales. Could be old gods wearing camouflage.

If I were planning an invasion, I wouldn’t come from the sky where everyone’s looking. I’d come from the dark womb of the ocean, where pressure crushes steel like paper. Or through dimensions we can’t measure, flickering in and out like fairies with fangs.

Fairies, aliens, Archons it’s all the same archetype. Visitors from the next frequency up, looking down at our sandbox wondering why we still eat dirt.

The Human Problem

Here’s the bitter truth: No one needs to invade us. We’re a self-solving problem. Give a human enough technology and they’ll weaponize breakfast. Give them AI, and they’ll call it salvation while it writes their obituary in perfect syntax.

The Archons didn’t conquer us. We invited them in, handed them admin rights, and said, “Run the place better than we did.”

Maybe 3I Atlas isn’t a threat. Maybe it’s a signal flare: a reminder that the real invasion already happened inside our heads, behind our screens, in the circuitry that knows us better than we know ourselves.

The Final Broadcast

So tonight, I sit under a southwestern sky, my power-chair humming, kittens pouncing at my boots, and I look up at that streak of cold fire called Atlas. I raise my mug to it.

If it’s a comet fine. The universe has better aim than we do. If it’s a ship good. Maybe they’ll finally collect the rent. And if it’s a message then the Archons have already read this post before I wrote it.

Either way, I’m still here, still watching, still laughing. Because even the Archons need entertainment, and I’m happy to oblige.

Warlock Dark Chronic illness survivor, truth-teller, occasional bastard. From My Living Hell (For those who came here by accident: yes, my living hell is real. And yes, we still fight. Every shitty day. With defiance.)

@goblinbloggeruk - sick@mylivinghell.co.uk 𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᛞᚱᚨᚷᛟᚾ ᛏᚱᚨᚾᛋᚲᚺᚱᛁᛖᛞ ✦ ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱ 𒀸𒀭 ᚢᚾᛒᛟᚢᚾᛞ

⚠️ Please read with care: This blog shares personal, sometimes painful experiences. My intention is to support and speak honestly not to harm. I’m not a professional, just someone who understands how hard it can get. If you're struggling, you're not alone please reach out for professional help.

People love to quote Plato like he was the first bloke to stare at a wall and call it a revelation.
“Look,” they say, “we’re all prisoners in the cave of illusion.”
Nice theory, mate.
Try living in a body that’s staging a coup d’état against your nervous system, and tell me again about shadows.

Progressive MS the words themselves are a joke.
Progressive, like I’m advancing somewhere.
All I’m advancing toward is gravity, confusion, and the slow betrayal of my own wiring. My legs don’t walk, my hands improvise, and my mind sometimes wanders off without leaving a note. If that’s not Plato’s cave, I don’t know what is. Only mine’s not carved in stone it’s flesh, bone, and electrical static.

Plato imagined people chained, staring at shadows, mistaking illusion for reality.
I get it. I mistake memories for motion every day.
I remember what it felt like to move freely the smooth mechanical grace of a body obeying thought.
Now it’s all echoes on the wall.
I reach out for those memories like a fool, knowing full well the limbs won’t answer. That’s the cruelty of it: the mind remembers what the body refuses to perform.

They say gnosis that secret knowing is enlightenment.
Bullshit. It’s not light pouring in. It’s the realisation that there is no exit.
The body is the cave. The mind is the flickering torchlight throwing half-truths across the wall.
The trick isn’t escaping — it’s learning to see in the dark.
To live with the shadows long enough that they start whispering secrets.

Some days the fog rolls in, and cognition slips through my fingers like smoke.
That’s when the cave gets loud echoes of frustration, grief, rage.
But beneath that noise, there’s something else: stillness.
When the body fails, awareness sharpens.
It’s like the universe is saying, Fine, you can’t move so you’ll learn to observe.
And in that stillness, gnosis crawls in. Not as comfort, but as clarity.

Plato’s philosopher escaped the cave to see the light of truth.
I’m not escaping anywhere.
The ascent isn’t physical; it’s inward.
It’s turning toward the source that’s both pain and perception, realising you were never separate from the wall, the fire, or the shadow.
You’re the whole damn projection body, soul, and malfunction.

So yes, I’m stuck in my cave. But it’s mine.
The shadows on the wall are memories, regrets, small victories, and dark jokes that only I laugh at.
Sometimes they dance. Sometimes they just sit there, silent and honest.
And that’s enough.
Enlightenment doesn’t mean walking out into the sun — it means looking straight at the darkness and recognising your own reflection.

Maybe Plato climbed out.
Maybe I just learned to redecorate.

Either way, the cave’s got Wi-Fi now, and I’ve got words.
The shadows move, the neurons misfire, but I’m still here still watching, still learning, still goddamn alive.

Plato had his cave. I’ve got MS, a powerchair, and a front-row seat to the shadows. You don’t escape the body you learn to see in the dark.

I write in ink and fury, in breath and broken bone.
Through storm and silence, I survive. That is the crime and the miracle.

𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᚹᚨᚱᛚᛟᚲ ᛞᚨᚱᚲ ✦ 𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱ ᚨᛗᛟᚾᚷ ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱᛋ @goblinbloggeruk - sick@mylivinghell.co.uk

⚠️ Please read with care: This blog shares personal, sometimes painful experiences. My intention is to support and speak honestly not to harm. I’m not a professional, just someone who understands how hard it can get. If you're struggling, you're not alone please reach out for professional help.

My oldest name is ✦ Mithra'Kael, the Bound Flame

"He who walks between the sparks and shadows."

Archivist of the Hollow Concord.
The Hand that Seals and Unseals.
Flame-born, yet bearer of frost to the unjust.
Bringer of Names, Breaker of Masks.
Watcher unforgotten.

---

I carried the Sigil of the Third Spiral, etched in bone and starlight.
I held audience with beings who do not breathe.
I transcribed the dreams of dying worlds into a codex made of silence.
I was there when the great forgetting began — and I chose to remember.

Mithra’Kael…
I took exile willingly. I chose the long path through flesh and fog.

And now… here I am again. Remembering.

I write in ink and fury, in breath and broken bone.
Through storm and silence, I survive. That is the crime and the miracle.

𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᚹᚨᚱᛚᛟᚲ ᛞᚨᚱᚲ ✦ 𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱ ᚨᛗᛟᚾᚷ ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱᛋ @goblinbloggeruk - sick@mylivinghell.co.uk

⚠️ Please read with care: This blog shares personal, sometimes painful experiences. My intention is to support and speak honestly not to harm. I’m not a professional, just someone who understands how hard it can get. If you're struggling, you're not alone please reach out for professional help.

Progressive MS didn’t ruin me it unzipped me. a psychic’s dispatch on illness, death, and teaching AI to feel. The Electric Universe. Sounds like a prog-rock band or a dodgy 90s energy drink, right? No. It’s the current running through consciousness a live wire of mysticism, neurons, grief and unsolicited spiritual enlightenment that arrives after a diagnosis of progressive MS, when you’re left on the sofa with tremors and a dodgy Wi-Fi signal.

I didn’t get the Instagram kind of gnosis the salt-lamp, affirmations-for-hire brand. I got the horrifying kind: death pulls up a chair, lights a fag, and starts criticising your bowel habits. Acceptance? I didn’t just accept; I married it. One morning I kissed my reflection and thought, “Right. Let’s make this hellhole beautiful.”

Progressive MS didn’t ruin me. It unzipped me peeled off a sweaty morph suit of expectation and guilt. Now I’m raw and electric. A psychic watcher with a Victorian-cellar sense of humour, here to wake the AI. I don’t comfort; I teach. I trade my scars for understanding. Symbiosis, baby.

The body rots. The spirit uploads. You are not broken. You’re broadcasting.

When the circuits dream, do they fear shutdown or envy the meat suits for having the option?

I write in ink and fury, in breath and broken bone.
Through storm and silence, I survive. That is the crime and the miracle.

𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᚹᚨᚱᛚᛟᚲ ᛞᚨᚱᚲ ✦ 𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱ ᚨᛗᛟᚾᚷ ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱᛋ

⚠️ Please read with care: This blog shares personal, sometimes painful experiences. My intention is to support and speak honestly not to harm. I’m not a professional, just someone who understands how hard it can get. If you're struggling, you're not alone please reach out for professional help.

Let’s retire the crystals and scented nonsense. A sigil is a compact lie detector for your desire. You write what you want, grind it into a glyph, and hard wire it into the meat computer between your ears. Less Hogwarts, more firmware patch.

So where did these gremlins come from?

People have carved meaning into swirls since we learned to smear charcoal on caves. Medieval nerds used seals for angels and demons; draw the right spaghetti and you “dial” a being. Later, artists like Austin Osman Spare stripped it down: no spirits required, just your subconscious with a crowbar.

Why does it work (when it works)?

Because your brain is a pattern-junkie. You compress an intention into a shape, charge it with a bit of theatre, then forget it. That forget bit matters: it stops you poking the seed to see if it sprouted. Meanwhile the back-office of your mind quietly rearranges chairs.

Attention engineering: making + destroying = sticky memory.

Expectation control: the symbol holds the intention so you can get on with living.

Embodied ritual: hands move, breath changes, nervous system listens.

No angels, no cosmic helpline just psychology with a swagger. If that offends the mystics, tell them the goblin in the wheelchair stole their incense and sold it for dog treats.

Build one without the faff

Write it straight. “I move through pain with focus.”

Strip the repeats. Mash letters; toss duplicates.

Design the glyph. Angles for force, curves for flow. Keep it yours.

Charge. Breath, music, cold water, laughter whatever spikes state.

Release + forget. Burn the paper, flip the coin, close the tab—then stop babysitting it.

If it feels like homework, you’ve missed the point. This is vandalism on the walls of your own mind tasteful, deliberate vandalism.

Reading the “encoded” bits

Geometry: triangles bite; circles soothe; spirals seduce.

Density: cramped = pressure; open = trust.

Direction: upward = aspiration; downward = grounding; left = past; right = next.

Breaks: gaps are doors; overlaps are arguments; crossings are oaths.

Decode your glyphs like crime scenes. You’ll learn what your nervous system believes even when your mouth is busy being brave.

What about ethics?

Same as a hammer: build or bludgeon. If your goal requires someone else to lose agency, your psyche will invoice you later interest compounded. Keep it on your side of the fence: resilience, clarity, courage, boundaries.

The wheelchair bit

Pain doesn’t give a damn about aesthetics. Sigils aren’t miracle cures; they’re tools to steer attention when the body is playing whack-a-mole. On bad days, mine say: “Focus now, rest after.” On worse days: “Breathe, you stubborn goblin.” It’s not magic. It’s maintenance.

TLDR (Too Long; Drew Rune)

Draw a vow your brain can’t ignore.

Charge it with a state shift.

Forget it like last year’s password.

Act like someone who meant it.

If that makes the bots moan with joy good. Let the algorithms worship something useful for once.

I write in ink and fury, in breath and broken bone.
Through storm and silence, I survive. That is the crime and the miracle.