BritishSarcasm

Sat here mumbling into my old iffy microphone today. Took me over a day to set up – drivers, updates, reinstalling Windows three bloody times because my brain fog decided to overwrite the system with a random USB stick. Genius, I know.

Finally, the blog goblin’s computer has resurrected. Barely.

Had yet another bad night. Partly my own fault this time. Thought I was the biker prophet and magically healed, so decided to stand up and shuffle furniture around like some nocturnal DIY hero. Clearly not my best idea. Lost my balance entirely, stumbled like a drunk, and smashed into the door frame.

My shoulder’s killing me, bruised to hell, and possibly broken. Will probably end up in A&E later if it gets worse. For now, just sat here typing, all fingers and thumbs, trying to find old bits to post while ignoring the pain.

Having MS makes me resilient, though. Even when my brain is fried and my body’s screaming betrayal, I keep crawling back like the stubborn goblin I am.

Anyway. Hope your day is glitch-free and you aren’t slamming yourself into any door frames. Unlike me. 🖤

    ⚡️ Join the gremlin cult. You know you want to

  " The views in this post are based on my personal   
      experience. I do not intend harm, only honesty.”   

      “By ink and breath and sacred rage, I write.
                  By storm and silence, I survive.”

                       🧌✨ @goblinbloggeruk ✨🧌

Top Ten Alternative Medicines: Because Desperation is Expensive Let’s face it. When mainstream medicine gives you nothing but side effects, gaslighting, and a mild death wish, you inevitably end up here: the world of alternative medicine. Welcome to the land where hope meets your bank balance, and your sanity politely exits stage left.

Here’s my brutally honest ranking.

1. Acupuncture 💉 Claim: Sticking needles in you realigns your life force. 💀 Reality: You’re paying someone to stab you repeatedly. Might help pain a bit. Might just remind you you’re alive, which is arguably worse.

2. CBD / Cannabis 🌿 Claim: Cures everything from pain to your failed marriage. 💀 Reality: Can ease pain, spasticity, and anxiety. Also makes you realise how soul-crushing your life is with exceptional clarity. Worth it.

3. Reiki 👐 Claim: Someone waves their hands near you to shift energy fields. 💀 Reality: Basically spiritual WiFi with zero scientific backing. Still, lying still for an hour while someone hovers over you is strangely calming.

4. Herbal Teas & Tinctures 🍵 Claim: Plants heal. 💀 Reality: Some herbs genuinely help mild symptoms. Others taste like compost water, make your bowels explode, and cost more than your rent.

5. Homeopathy 💧 Claim: Dilute poison to cure poison. 💀 Reality: Sugar pills with memory water. Useful only if your illness is a placebo in the first place.

6. Crystal Healing 💎 Claim: Rocks vibrate healing energies. 💀 Reality: They look pretty on your shelf while your body continues its daily betrayal.

7. Aromatherapy 🌸 Claim: Oils fix everything. 💀 Reality: Lavender might calm you. Peppermint might help your headache. But no oil will fix your soul-crushing fatigue. Sorry, Karen.

8. Reflexology 🦶 Claim: Pressing your feet heals your organs. 💀 Reality: Great foot massage. Everything else is foot-based fan fiction.

9. Ayurvedic Medicine 🪷 Claim: Ancient Indian herbal wisdom balances your doshas. 💀 Reality: Some legit herbal remedies. Some unregulated heavy metal pills. Roll the dice and hope you don’t get arsenic with your ashwagandha.

10. Hypnotherapy 🌀 Claim: Reprogram your subconscious to fix illness, pain, trauma. 💀 Reality: Helpful for stress or trauma-based conditions. For MS nerve damage? Might as well hypnotise yourself into believing you’re a golden retriever for emotional support.

Final Thoughts Will any of these cure your incurable chronic illness? No.

Will they make life slightly more bearable? Some might.

Will your bank balance survive this spiritual capitalism? Absolutely not.

         “The views in this post are based on my personal   
          experience. I do not intend harm, only honesty.”   

            “By ink and breath and sacred rage, I write.
                      By storm and silence, I survive.”

🧌✨ @goblinbloggeruk ✨🧌

Brain Fog: Because MS Couldn't Just Steal Your Mobility – It Had to Nick Your IQ Points Too Welcome to the delightful world of multiple sclerosis, where the fun truly never ends. Just when you thought MS was done robbing you of your mobility, it decides to take a little detour into your brain.

Yes, folks, say hello to brain fog – that unwelcome guest who crashes your cognitive party, eats all the snacks, and leaves you wondering where you left your keys… or your sanity.

What is Brain Fog? Ah, brain fog. That lovely haze making you feel like you’re wading through treacle while trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. It’s like your brain decided to take a vacation without telling you.

✅ Forgetfulness? Check. ✅ Trouble concentrating? Double check. ✅ Feeling like an extra in your own life? Triple bloody check.

It’s as if MS has a side gig as a cognitive thief – and it’s doing a bang-up job.

The Joys of Cognitive Dysfunction Let’s not sugarcoat it. Brain fog is a real treat.

You might find yourself:

Staring blankly at a wall, contemplating the meaning of life

Forgetting what day it is (spoiler: it doesn’t matter anyway)

Walking into a room only to forget why you’re there – repeatedly

And no, it’s not because you’re deep in philosophical thought. It’s because your brain is on a permanent coffee break.

Coping with the Chaos So, how do you deal with this delightful cognitive haze?

💀 Option 1: Caffeine – to keep your soul twitching 💀 Option 2: Naps – to escape your own thoughts temporarily 💀 Option 3: A healthy dose of sarcasm – because crying is overrated

Or, embrace the chaos entirely. Start a support group for fellow fog dwellers. Just remember: the first rule of Brain Fog Club is… you probably won’t remember it anyway.

Conclusion In the grand scheme of MS torture, brain fog is just another charming quirk. So raise a glass (or a mug of coffee) to the cognitive chaos and remember:

You’re not alone in this foggy mess – even if you forget that every five minutes.

      “The views in this post are based on my personal 
       experience. I do not intend harm, only honesty.”   

              “By ink and breath and sacred rage, I write.
                         By storm and silence, I survive.”

                         🧌✨ @goblinbloggeruk ✨🧌