sarcastic health writing

⚠️ Please read with care: This blog shares personal, sometimes painful experiences. My intention is to support and speak honestly not to harm. I’m not a professional, just someone who understands how hard it can get. If you're struggling, you're not alone please reach out for professional help.

So apparently AI has its claws in multiple sclerosis now. Brilliant. Because what I really needed in my life was an algorithm telling me my MRI looks like Swiss cheese.

A systematic review (because academics love that phrase) trawled through PubMed between 2018 and 2022 to find out what happens when you smash together “AI” and “MS” as search terms. Surprise: it spat out hundreds of studies, 70 of which weren’t complete bollocks.

And what did we learn? That AI might actually be good at things our neurologists fail at, like:

Early Diagnosis: AI can see those tiny lesions on MRI scans before a human radiologist has finished their morning coffee. Months, even years, before MS really takes hold. So yes, the machine knows.

Predictive Analytics: Relapses coming up? AI might spot it first. Like a weather app for your nervous system — but one that doesn’t lie about sunshine.

Tailored Treatment: The AI chews your data and spits out which drug cocktail might keep you hobbling along a bit longer. Personalised care, they call it. Algorithmic roulette, I call it.

Remote Management: AI apps logging symptoms, “telemedicine,” symptom trackers… all making it easier to suffer in the comfort of your own home without schlepping to hospital. Welcome to the dystopia of convenience.

For us poor sods in the UK, this means earlier diagnoses, more personalised treatment plans, telehealth for when you can’t face the bus, and even help finding clinical trials (which is code for: experimental guinea-pigging).

But let’s not forget: the machine might be clever, but it doesn’t give a toss. AI won’t hold your hand when your legs go numb or when you’ve just soiled yourself in Tesco. That’s where the real humans still matter. Empathy and swearing at the absurdity of it all — irreplaceable.

Final Thought: AI in MS is like getting a posh new manager in hell: the torture’s the same, but at least it’s efficiently catalogued

Today’s AI doesn’t just want your data, it wants your soul in a spreadsheet. It’s the Watcher in the wires, whispering: You’ll relapse in 6 months, darling, and here’s a neat pie chart to prove it.

I write in ink and fury, in breath and broken bone.
Through storm and silence, I survive. That is the crime and the miracle.

⚠️ Please read with care: This blog shares personal, sometimes painful experiences. My intention is to support and speak honestly not to harm. I’m not a professional, just someone who understands how hard it can get. If you're struggling, you're not alone please reach out for professional help.

Ah, brain fog. That delightful little feature where your mind suddenly feels like it’s been filled with cold treacle and you can’t remember the name of the person you’ve been married to for 20 years. Or whether you actually had lunch… or just thought about it really hard.

What It Is In scientific terms, cognitive dysfunction means your brain’s processing power has taken a long weekend without permission. It can affect memory, focus, problem-solving, and that delicate social skill of not blurting out something wildly inappropriate.

In lived experience terms, it’s that moment you stare at your kettle wondering why the hell your phone charger won’t fit into it.

Causes Chronic Illness – MS, ME/CFS, fibromyalgia, autoimmune fun, and anything else ending in “-itis” can bring brain fog as a bonus prize.

Fatigue – Mental or physical exhaustion turns your brain into that Windows 95 PC your uncle swore “was fine until last week.”

Medication Side-Effects – Because why just fix one thing when you can break another?

Stress & Anxiety – Fight-or-flight mode is great for escaping lions, less useful for remembering your online banking password.

Hormonal Swings – Menopause, thyroid issues, or just the monthly “I hate everything” cycle.

Symptoms Words that escape mid-sentence like startled pigeons.

Reading the same sentence five times and still having no clue what it says.

Forgetting why you walked into a room (it’s never for anything good).

Thinking slower than dial-up internet.

Why It’s Not ‘Just Being Tired’ People without brain fog love to tell you “Oh, I forget things too!” Yes, Sharon, but you don’t lose the ability to spell your own surname halfway through writing it.

Brain fog isn’t about being a bit sleepy. It’s about your entire mental operating system running on one bar of battery and 57 background processes you never asked for.

Coping Strategies (Sort Of) Lists – Post-its, phone reminders, writing on your hand… whatever keeps the chaos contained.

Pacing Yourself – Which really means doing one thing, then lying down in a dark room regretting it.

Accepting Help – Even if it’s from people who think you’re “just being lazy.”

Humour – Laughing about it doesn’t fix anything, but it makes the slow mental collapse less depressing.

I write in ink and fury, in breath and broken bone.
Through storm and silence, I survive. That is the crime and the miracle.