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⚠️ Please read with care: This blog shares personal, sometimes painful experiences. My intention is to support and speak honestly not to harm. I’m not a professional, just someone who understands how hard it can get. If you're struggling, you're not alone please reach out for professional help.
please remember I suffer with severe cognitive dysfunction this may be a confusing read. no AI written content
So, a very good morning to you fellow humanoids and sufferers out there with chronic illness. Yes, it's been quite a day indeed. I was up early in the usual pain through the autonomic dysfunction and well, I've had enough. I completely had enough. It's all very well having progressive MS, but through no fault of my own, this autonomic dysfunction has caused me great issues indeed.
Back in the 1980s I had an injection for hay fever and it appears that many people who had that same injection have now started to experience autonomic dysfunction at some levels so they stop that injection because it caused problems. Now I'm trying to make people understand that it is not always multiple sclerosis that causes issues and that I have autonomic dysfunction caused by histamine reactions in the body. My body cannot stand histamines whatsoever. It cannot even stand food that hasn't any histamines that causes a histamine reaction in the body. So I have to be so careful with everything I eat and summer is a nightmare. Plants, hay-fever- yes, you get the picture. It's a living hell for me.
So, as you know in November the ambulance was called and I refused to go into hospital. They said I was going to have a stroke due to something on the ECG being weird, and I told them I know what the issue is. It's my autonomic dysfunction and they sort of looked at me and well, they were really, really nice people and I signed a piece of paper and I said I'll have it all dealt with locally So that was back in November.
The goblin keeps track of all of it. Every “we’ll get back to you.” Every delay. Every time nothing actually happens.
I managed to see a doctor in November or was it December? And then I asked to see a neurologist about everything that was going on. I asked the MS nurse, I asked the doctor, and well, the MS nurse got back to me and said that the neurologist had said who I haven't seen or heard of in five years said to the MS nurse, you have to see an immunologist. It's got nothing to do with neurology. Yes, so I'm in this circle now where the neurology team don't want to know. and to try and get an appointment to see a immunologist is a joke. So I'm thinking, will I ever get to see one? I don't think I will. Unfortunately, my mind has turned into goblin brain. And as a goblin brain, that means I'm probably going to pals because I've had enough of all this bullshit. So yeah, it's been a real mind fuck of a morning.
Neurology says “not us.” MS team shrugs a bit and passes it along. Then I get told “you need immunology.” Immunology? Good luck getting anywhere near them unless you can bend time and bureaucracy itself.
I’ve had enough.
Enough of chasing things that should already be happening. Enough of repeating myself like I don’t exist beyond the last conversation. Enough of feeling like I’ve somehow got to prove I deserve to be taken seriously.
This is about what it feels like to get stuck in something that doesn’t move, while you’re the one dealing with the consequences.
I refuse to get to stressed over this still.. wishing everyone peace healing love and light no matter who or whatever you are ....
Warlock Dark Chronic illness survivor, truth-teller, occasional bastard. From My Living Hell (For those who came here by accident: yes, my living hell is real. And yes, we still fight. Every shitty day. With defiance.)
