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⚠️ This blog shares my personal, sometimes painful experiences with MS and mental health. My intention is to speak honestly and offer solidarity—not to harm or replace professional advice. I’m not a doctor or therapist, just someone who gets how hard it can get. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone. Please reach out to a trusted friend, support group, or professional. You deserve help and hope.⚠️
please remember I suffer with severe cognitive dysfunction, and use AI to proof read and help solve this issue so you can understand it
A raw, darkly funny and unapologetically personal take on living with Multiple Sclerosis. Symptoms, fatigue, mobility, brain fog and the absurdity of everyday MS life.
Chapter One: Congratulations, You've Been Promoted to Professional Liability
Welcome to the blog.
If you're reading this, chances are you've either been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, know somebody who has, or you've accidentally wandered in while looking for recipes.
If it's the latter, the Yorkshire pudding recipe is in another universe.
For the rest of us...
Welcome to the club that nobody wanted to join.
Membership benefits include:
- Randomly falling over for no obvious reason.
- Forgetting what you walked into a room for.
- Being permanently exhausted despite achieving absolutely nothing.
- Discovering that your own immune system has become your full-time stalker.
There are no loyalty points.
There is, however, a lifetime supply of unsolicited advice.
Rule Number One
The first thing you'll discover is that everyone suddenly becomes a neurologist.
Your neighbour recommends turmeric.
Your aunt swears by celery juice.
Some bloke on Facebook says crystals cured his cousin's hamster, so clearly they'll repair your spinal cord.
Smile politely.
Then continue taking the medication invented by people who actually went to medical school.
Rule Number Two
Never Waste Good Symptoms
MS is incredibly creative.
One day your leg works.
The next day it's merely decorative.
Sometimes your hand forgets it's attached to you.
Occasionally your tongue joins a witness protection programme.
Enjoy the mystery.
It's like opening an advent calendar designed by Satan.
You never know what's behind today's little door.
Rule Number Three
Accept That Your Brain Runs on Rural Broadband
People ask...
"What's wrong?"
Nothing.
I'm simply waiting for Windows 98 to finish loading.
My thoughts are arriving one packet at a time.
Estimated completion...
Three to five working days.
Rule Number Four
Master the Ancient Art of Looking Fine
You'll hear this sentence approximately 47,000 times.
"But you look so well!"
Thank you.
You also look like someone who hasn't just fought their own nervous system before breakfast.
Appearances can be deceptive.
Like politicians.
Or supermarket sandwiches.
Rule Number Five
Become One With Furniture
Experienced MS sufferers know every bench within a five-mile radius.
You don't choose routes by scenery.
You choose them by available seating.
That suspicious-looking wall outside the chemist?
Luxury.
Rule Number Six
Your Mobility Scooter is Now a Mythical Beast
This isn't a mobility scooter.
It's a steel horse.
A dragon with indicators.
A noble mechanical steed that bravely carries you into battle...
...at a legally restricted 8 mph.
The Hells Angels nod respectfully.
Mostly because you've blocked the pavement.
Rule Number Seven
Never Trust a Good Day
A good day is wonderful.
It is also suspicious.
Don't ask questions.
Simply enjoy it while your nervous system isn't paying attention.
Tomorrow it may remember you're having fun.
Final Advice
People often apologise because they don't know what to say.
Don't worry.
Neither do we.
We forget halfway through the sentence anyway.
If there's one thing MS teaches you, it's that life doesn't always make sense.
So laugh anyway.
Laugh because the disease hates it.
Laugh because the alternative is giving it all the best lines.
And if your legs refuse to cooperate...
At least your sense of humour still knows where it's going.
Probably.
wishing everyone peace healing love and light
Warlock Dark
Chronic illness survivor, truth-teller, occasional bastard. From My Living Hell (For those who came here by accident: yes, my living hell is real. And yes, we still fight. Every shitty day. With defiance.)
☣ This Is Not A Blog About MS
This Is My Life With MS ☣
