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⚠️ Please read with care: This blog shares personal, sometimes painful experiences. My intention is to support and speak honestly not to harm. I’m not a professional, just someone who understands how hard it can get. If you're struggling, you're not alone please reach out for professional help.
Hemp is the plant your grandparents ignored, your chemist scorned, and your government banned for decades. Yet somehow, it keeps showing up in history like that one friend who refuses to leave the party you can’t get rid of it, and maybe you shouldn’t.
History’s Favourite Overachiever
| When Humanity Screwed Up | Hemp’s Job |
|---|---|
| Ancient China (~2800 BCE) | Textiles and ropes because apparently humans needed to tie things together before Instagram. Also medicinal—treating hangovers, typhoid, whatever the hell else they had. |
| Ancient Greece (~500 BCE) | Eaten as food and woven into clothing & sails. They didn’t have Twitter, but even then, hemp was the MVP. |
| Roman Empire | Ships? Ropes? Pain relief? Basically, if Rome was a Netflix show, hemp would be the main character everyone loves but nobody notices. |
| Middle Ages | Peasants wore hemp clothes, monks made paper. If misery loves company, hemp was the friendliest partner. |
| Colonial America | Farmers had to grow it, proving hemp survives even when forced into existence. Nets, ropes, maybe political arguments—hemp did it all. |
Modern Day: Hemp Gets Rich While We Struggle
1. Nutritional Value
Seeds packed with omega-3s and proteins. Eat it, or don’t. Your call.
2. Eco-Warrior Status
Uses less water than cotton. Needs fewer pesticides. Cleans the soil. Basically the plant equivalent of that friend who recycles everything and judges you.
3. Industrial Fame
Clothes, ropes, biodegradable plastics, hempcrete. Could build an entire mansion out of it. Probably better than your last relationship.
4. Health & Wellness Hype
CBD oil can allegedly reduce pain and anxiety. Or just give you a sense that life is slightly less horrible.
5. Economic Savior
Farmers can make a buck, towns can thrive. Meanwhile, we’re over here paying for artisanal toast. Hemp: Fuel & Building Stuff
Hemp as Fuel
Biodiesel and ethanol. A plant saving us from fossil fuels. Humans: 0, Hemp: 1.
Quick-growing. Carbon-sucking hero. Keeps the lights on while we binge TikTok.
Hempcrete Healing
Breathable, insulating, non-toxic walls. Like a hug from a plant that won’t judge your life choices.
Lasts decades, making your house healthier while your soul slowly rots in suburban monotony.
“Hempcrete: the only thing in your house quietly living its best life.” Plastics Made from Hemp
Stronger than normal plastics, lighter than metal, biodegradable. Basically, it’s showing us up again.
Cars, toys, packaging. Less landfill. Less fossil fuel. More proof humans could have done better.
Conclusion: Hemp Wins Again
Hemp has quietly been humanity’s overachieving friend through centuries of chaos. It nourishes, heals, insulates, fuels, and survives. Meanwhile, we argue about reality TV and taxes. Maybe we could all take a lesson or just keep ignoring it.
“If plants could judge, hemp would have written a scathing review of humanity centuries ago.”
I write in ink and fury, in breath and broken bone.
Through storm and silence, I survive. That is the crime and the miracle.
𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᚹᚨᚱᛚᛟᚲ ᛞᚨᚱᚲ ✦ 𒀭𒊩𒆳 ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱ ᚨᛗᛟᚾᚷ ᚹᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᚱᛋ
@goblinbloggeruk - sick@mylivinghell.co.uk