The Weirdest of Weeks – MS, Goblins, and Old Wrestling Heroes

It’s been the weirdest of weeks. Not much sleep. But I’m still here.

My MS symptoms are calming down to a level I can handle. That’s a victory, right there. Because every breath I take is another I refused to surrender.

I drown out the tinnitus with music. My head sounds like a goblin with a weed wacker, or a spluttering two-stroke engine – like an old Yamaha FS1E, coughing and whining its fizzy rebellion. Call her Fizzy Girl, Wifey, Albertine… call her whatever you want. The pain stays the same.

Looking at this screen burns. My voice is croaky. Words come slow. My tongue is numb again, lost in a mouthful of phantom bites and blister burns. That’s life when MS hits your throat, your vagus nerve, your corpus callosum. But I fight it. Every. Damn. Day.

I’ve had those dark thoughts. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t. But I never let them win. I write them out. I bleed them onto pages, text pads, digital scraps – foggy memories turned into clarity, darkness turned into light.

I created this alter ego – The Goblin. It’s addictive, this freedom of expression. I have no mates, no friends in the traditional sense. But I have myself. And I have my family. And that is enough.

It’s Saturday afternoon. June 6th. Back in the day, Saturday afternoons meant wrestling on BBC2. Mark Rocco. Marty Jones. Fit Finlay. Skull Murphy. Giant Haystacks. Banger Walsh. I met Haystacks once. I was 6ft 4 back then, and he made me feel small. That’s what true presence is.

I remember mushrooms my dad picked fresh from the field, sizzling in Trex, pitch black underneath – perfect. Simple memories. Real moments. The things that matter.

So what’s broken this week, you ask? Nothing. My biggest win was reinstalling Windows 11 and getting Kali Linux running again. The rest is just background noise.

I picked up my crown from the dentist. He had a bike accident. I’m sending him healing energy, like I send to you reading this now.

Because yes, I know darkness. I live with pain. But I rise. Every. Single. Time.

Never give up. I haven’t. And I won’t. Neither should you.

         “The views in this post are based on my personal    
          experience. I do not intend harm, only honesty.”   

               “By ink and breath and sacred rage, I write.
                          By storm and silence, I survive.”

                    🧌✨ @goblinbloggeruk ✨🧌